So Lonely

I failed you
And miserable
As I am,
I’m least
of those
who troubled
your heart—

A mote
To trouble
The mind’s eye…
Yes,
That and less,
A mere night bird
Passing
Through the sky.

So don’t make me
A villain
Until you know
My crimes—
The secret failures,
Petty hatreds
And lies
I tell myself
At night.

That’s why
I’m out here
Walking
As your outlier
Struggling
With the riddle
Of you and I

While the storm
Splatters
Cherries
Along the walk,
A rain
Of memories
Mars my heart…

And I grieve for you
In the night’s
Shining sea
And hate myself
For being so lonely.