Heart Injuries happens

It is said that the couple is forming around our wounds.
It is said that the couple is forming around our wounds.

I thought I didn't really have one. And that if I ever found out, I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't share my wounds. I thought it was selfish and weak to build a story on resonant similarities or differences. I told myself that it was generous and responsible to build a story around two complete beings who cross paths and choose each other.

What does it mean to be complete? Go find out...

My mother would reply to that:

If we didn't need the person we love, would we really choose him or her? If we did not know what the lack of the other means in our lives, would we still want to share it?
According to her, lack is not a problem, the reasons for love are not weaknesses and being complete is a more or less abstract notion that we evoke when we are lacking in self, and not lacking in the other.

His questions bothered me. They were both supposed to be and hated.

Love, in my opinion, just and orderly love, was filial love. A parent's love for their child. The other links were beautiful encounters, a mixture of mirrors and illusions.

It is said that the couple is forming around our wounds.

I thought I didn't really have one. I had no reason to be a couple. I went to those men who, like me, didn't really have any. I went to those men who, like me, thought that being alone was right and that attachment meant losing control. The transparency of our exchanges reinforced our distance and brought us together in the belief in independence.

I could have loved them. They could have loved me. Somewhere, we thought we almost loved each other more than all the couples around us.

Why be together when you're comfortable with yourself?
Except I wanted to live a love story. I wanted to have a child. To make a child meant loving someone else to the point of choosing to give life together. But I wasn't ready to choose the couple, and I didn't want the child without the couple.

And then I thought I didn't have any injuries.

It is said that the couple is forming around our wounds.

Yeah, I thought I didn't have any injuries.

And then I meet him.

It is said that the couple is forming around our wounds.

He looks just like me. He resembles me in his excesses, in his desire to be listened to, in the importance he gives to all the details of his history, in his desire for independence and in his need for structure. He looks like me in his childlike joy and adult speeches. He resembles me in his doubts, his expectations and his fear of entrusting them to someone other than himself. He looks like me in what he gives and holds.

He looks just like me in what he needs.

He's talking about him. He says what I want to hear and I don't like hearing it. I don't like to hear it because then I know: I know that I meet a man with whom I want to be in a relationship.

And I'm scared.

Would I be afraid without injury?

It is said that the couple is forming around our wounds.

They're not necessarily ours. They can be those of our parents, of our grandparents, of generations prior to ours. All those that were carried by others before they settled down in our genes and influenced our lives: our feelings to the evocation of love, the couple, social bonding, parenthood and commitment.

They became ours. The couple that our parents form, the rank we occupy and the place that has been given to us in our family come from a history that we often do not know and that seals off the great beginnings of our lives: our first loves above all.

Our first loves which add to the stories of our ancestors our own history and perpetuate the models, if we do not find the courage to understand them and identify them in order to free ourselves from them. And then, being able to heal our wounds with the other. To play dice with someone who knows why he's with us. With the vulnerability of his wounds and the courage of the heart.