My mother's roses

When I was nine years old, my mother passed away from lung cancer. I knew she was sick, but I didn't know she was dying. No one prepared a nine year old me for that brutal reality...how could anyone prepare a child for the one situation that seems so alien? Mothers never die, right? That was was back in the spring/summer of 1986.
I'm forty years old now and only have a hand full of memories of my mother. I've been through many milestones in my life without her and, even though I miss her, I don't really have a concept of what it's like having a mother in my life. With that being said, I always skip into a pretty solid depression for a few weeks surrounding Mother's Day. It always starts when Mother's Day commercials begin and I can't shake the depression until a couple weeks after Mother's Day.
Before she passed away, my mother planted some roses in front of the house. Every year, without fail, my mother's roses always start blooming around Mother's Day. I'm not sure if all roses begin blooming around Mother's Day but, the fact that these flowers do, always makes me think of her and smile. It's almost as though she's stopping by to say hi. I came home today and this rose hD bloomed and I thought of her. If there is an afterlife when all is said and done, I hope I am able to meet her there and catch up on all of the time I missed out on with her. In the mean time, I will continue to watch her roses bloom every year and I will continue to smile at her memory.