Cashier's life: blog three

I'm going to attempt to keep this blog short. In this blog post, I'm going to discuss the plaque of the squeaky toy! Ever since I've started working at Petsmart in September of 2015, squeaky toys have become the bane of my existence...in more ways than one! For anyone reading this post who has any desire to squeeze a squeaky toys, I have a spoiler warning for you: THEY SQUEAK! You don't have to test out the squeaky toys for tens minutes at a time. I promise you, they're gonna squeak! I don't even really know who's worse when it comes to squeaky toys: adults or kids. You see, kids can be pretty relentless with the squeaky toys, and sometimes they squeeze them in rapid fire succession like like squeaky toy machine guns! Whatever though because they are kids and it's up to the parents to be all like wtf kid?! Adults, however, who go haywire like they are in squeaky toy heaven need to have the squeaky toys ripped out of their hands and have the damn toys thrown at them dodgeball style and, when they get hit with them, they must leave the store in squeaky toy shame. For these adults, I hope that their dogs squeak the hell out of those squeaky toys in the middle of the night, right next to their beds! That is my curse upon them for the next seven years! One of these days, I'm going to gather a ton of squeaky toys and have a squeaky toy bonfire in the middle of my backyard and sing love songs to the antisqueaky toy gods in hopes that squeaky toys will be banished from the mortal realm forever! Amen!