If you were to speak to any of the people who have been close to me throughout my life, you would no doubt hear that I am not one to give up on, well… anything – at any time… that is just who I am. No matter how dire the circumstance, it is just not in me to throw my hands in the air… however, the last few years have shown me despite how much I may like to believe I am… I am in fact NOT invinsible. I am but a mere mortal…hehehe…

The stress of my business REALLY got to me in the last little while before I decided to pack it in and I really did reach a stage of just waving my white little flag. I had to accept that I simply couldn’t NOT handle it ALL anymore… and things needed to change drastically if I was actually going to come out on top. And so, I walked away from it all. 17 years of that grindstone… and as much as I loved it, my time was done.

I have felt a lot like that these past ten days with the sheer emotional, mental and physical exhaustion. My entire life has been out of sync and I actually don’t think I have been as “non-present” here on steemit EVER… since I joined – but I simply could not handle the additional pressure of dealing with posting every day and accepting “defeat” in that respect was not an easy thing to do…. But I needed to do it.

Our parents are our be all and end all and having had my dad – such a strong and capable man, in such a weak and vulnerable state and my mom, depleted to the point of breakdown from being there at his side, has been a seriously challenging rollercoaster. I think I have yawned from utter exhaustion more in the last ten days than I have in my entire life. Lol (true story)

But as I said in my previous “absence announce” post – my dad is definitely taking a turn for the positive and I think we are ALL breathing a HUGE sigh of relief. My mom will be staying here to continue caring for him as he recovers, and I wish I could be here to help her, but unfortunately the school holidays have come to an end and I need to get back home to Cape Town as Jude starts school on Tuesday.

I know my dad will continue to get stronger and more mobile with every day… so I will keep that in my mind. Today I set up his laptop on a small table next to his bed so that he can sit up for a few minutes, see to his money and crypto and then lie down again… and I know that tiny little advance has made his heart happy. He is eating well now and has his sense of humour back. All wonderful signs.

Baby steps…

Tomorrow we head back home and will attempt to get back into some kind of normal routine. I feel terrible for leaving my mom here all alone though… I know how much she has given and how completely exhausted she is… but I also know how amazingly strong she is so will do whatever I can from where I am to offer her the support needed.

I also just wanted to say thank you again, to all of you that have taken the time to put all of us in your thoughts. It has meant the world to me!!!! And here’s hoping that the upcoming week, will see me being somewhat more present in this space as well as with my fantastical @steemitbloggers family!

Love you all so much. Thank you for being there for me throughout all of this and for being so compassionate with regards to my absence. I really needed it in order to get through this hurdle… and it would appear that there is now a little light at the end of the tunnel.

ps. Apologies in advance if this post is a little disjointed and for any typos and grammatical errors.... but I am a little brain dead and I don't give enough of a sh!t right now to fix any of it.... I just felt like writing.... :)

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Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

FOUNDER OF THE @STEEMITBLOGGERS

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oh... and have you met my little man? @judethedude