Cultivating Compassion
Forgiveness is the fragrance which the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. - Mark Twain
Cultivating Compassion
You have never made a mistake? Never?! - Really? Are you sure?! Well, then I will call you a liar. That is pretty much my summation of those that seemingly have the inability to offer forgiveness to those that “blunder” along their way, because we all blunder. I have always done my best not to judge others because, well quite frankly – I prefer not to be judged either.
Why then, does it seem that so many are just completely hell bent on pointing fingers at others when they make mistakes, be they large or small. Is it because they are perfect and have never faulted? (I sincerely doubt that). Is it because they would prefer the attention not be on them?
Accept the person and the situation for exactly what it is, instead of trying to manipulate it into what you think it needs to be. - Mandy Hale
Is it because belittling someone else makes them momentarily “bigger and better”? Who knows! – But whatever the reason, I think they could all do with the realisation that life is fleeting and those that cannot learn the art of forgiveness are most certainly living a life short changed!
Heavens, I have done some horrendous things in my life – requiring countless occasions of forgiveness from more people than I care to count… but is that not all part and parcel of what life is about? How do we learn if we don’t err?
An unhealed person can find offence in pretty much anything someone does. A healed person understands that the actions of others has absolutely nothing to do with them. - Unknown
I have NEVER been and never will be a “book smarts” individual. No, I am a street smarts girl! And yes, I am QUITE ok with that! But, what I have learnt in my life thus far with individuals “like me”… you know… the ones that “wing it”, “work it” and “wax it” is that we are generally very good at ruffling others feathers – mostly unintentionally so…. Often it is simply our thought process in action - and the passion which accompanies that. Passion seldom has manners ;) - We all know this!
I think what I find most upsetting though, – as I look around - is that so many people, equally imperfect, are so VERY quick to cast judgement onto others! I am sorry – did I miss the memo where you get to cast judgement for my ”sins” that vary slightly from your own? Hmmm – I must have! What a gracious and beautiful place this world would be if we could all just be a little more accepting of others.
“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”
― Alexander Pope
You never really know everything about another person, because people have become so conditioned to building walls and wearing masks, only allowing others to see what they selectively choose to show. The rest of it stays under lock and key. I have brought this into other posts - my parents got divorced when I was 5 years old.
I am the youngest of four children and I have often had discussions with people about how each and every one of us was affected differently by that part in our lives because of our different stages of emotional and psychological development at the time. No two wounds will ever be the same. In learning to understand people, this is an essential element to remember.
“When we are judging everything, we are learning nothing.” ― Steve Maraboli.
I cannot possibly, truly understand what emotional scars and baggage they deal with as adults now, just as much as they will never really understand mine. This is applicable across the board. Lack of forgiveness in itself is a judgement – and the last time I checked… NONE of us were granted that right. So best then, that we all exercise a little more humility!
The reality is, we ALL F-UP… again, again and again in different ways and on different scales of magnitude, but unless you want to be judged for your errors… my advice would be that you take a bit of a back step in being so quick to condemn others. Take a moment to remember just how imperfect YOU are before you wag that finger - and remember that the "difficulty" of all our roads is relative.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” - Mahatma Gandhi
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Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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Much Love! <3
I'm not sure I like to see mistakes and forgiveness in the same context.
I make mistakes, you make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. That's life. There is no reason to forgive them, I think. Because there is just as little reason to hold them against someone.
However, when it comes to malice, i.e. not a mistake or error, then I am little to not willing to forgive them.
I wholeheartedly agree with you, but I do think that sometimes (more often than many of us care to admit) the negative reaction or feelings rather... come into play in an often "involuntary manner" so we are somewhat tumbled into the process anyway reaction and then remedy.
What you are describing is what I would say is the manner in which we should ALL strive to live.
Perhaps forgiveness was the wrong word in this particular context... perhaps "acceptance" or the "letting go of" before it causes conflict would be more accurate.
I hear you - but even then I tend to look at the "why". People often do very unkind and ugly things because they themselves are hurt. I am not saying that this justifies the action, but I do always try to develop some level of understanding... sometimes though, that is not possible - in which case I would agree 100%
I your post very much the followers looks Soo beautiful 😍❤️
Thank you @alisha-doll :)