Day 948 (Daily Post)
Day 948. I am up a good bit earlier than when I have been getting up of late and although there is not much in the way of fog or clouds the moon is looking full and rather pretty hanging in the sky as if someone painted it there.
Currently I am brewing my second pot of espresso as my mind keeps grappling with the problem of how I am going to pull off building a small shelter for myself at the next place with no real funds to work with. Considering that I want something clean to live in (unlike the mold infested illy constructed building I am currently living in) the notion of scrapping something together makes me cringe internally. Of course it is not the first time that I have faced this particular dilemma and although I have countless designs for simple structures that I have drawn over the years I find myself sketching out new designs, making material lists and crunching numbers trying to come up with something that will only cost around four or five hundred dollars which is no easy feat even though the building would potentially only be eight feet by eight feet and at first un-insulated.
When it comes down to it building materials are just fucking expensive and there is not much to be done about that. I am also looking at the fact that I will only have about a ninety day window before the cold weather arrives so doing any sort of natural building is entirely out of the question because that route is always labor/time intensive and although I absolutely do not mind the labor, time just is not on my side.
Fortunately I have no doubts that I will figure something out one way or another in regards to shelter and having done several winters in not-quite-adequate shelters before I doubt that I will freeze to death or anything but damn it sure would be nice to be comfortable and warm and not stay in some prolonged state of 'survival mode' that is ultimately just going to keep me feeling edgy and far from getting the relaxation/decompression time that I will sorely need after this particular journey is over.
This journey is assuredly almost over and I am gleefully counting down the days until I can extract myself from the scenario, sigh a big fucking sigh of relief and uncork the bottle where I have stored all my emotions about being royally fucked out of all the hard work I have put into this place. I am sort of looking at that 'uncorking' process like releasing some genie from a bottle that will ultimately not so much grant me any wishes but will grant me hitherto unknown insights and a sort of rueful mirth that will assuredly do my heart and mind some good and ultimately help me shake off the fucked up juju of this place once and for all.
I think that everyone should experience something akin to what I have been through over the last nine hundred odd days and by that I mean...get dropped off in the dead of winter at some shithole place littered with trash and overgrown with thorny plants, predominantly surrounded by hostile nefarious folks, with no means of transportation, very little hard currency, minimal gear, no option of quitting, no infrastructure in place and just when all the obstacles are overcome, minimal comfort achieved and the hard work done have the proverbial rug jerked out from under them arbitrarily and told they need to find a new place...believe me it does not so much 'build character' as it 'reveals character.' Frankly though coping sucks.
Anyway now that I am in the final stretch of things some of my harsher assessments are obviously bleeding through into my writing and I just look at it like I am venting just enough steam that the pressure cooker of my mind does not unexpectedly explode from the turmoil and stress I have been enduring. I also dislike uprooting myself and moving in general so it is no big surprise there that my level of agitation with my current scenario is slowly boiling over.
Thankfully it will be over soon, my life will go on and me and my canine companions will continue our journey together surrounded by loving caring folks that will deeply appreciate my presence and will be grateful to have me at their little homestead. It will absolutely be the perfect 'balm' to treat my current spiritual sunburn and knowing that the situation I am going into will be pretty much the polar opposite of the one I am currently in is something that makes me smile a little and tell myself 'everything will be just fine.'
Well that is enough tedious phone typing for one morning and now that I have all that out of my system I am going to embrace the day with open arms and see what all I can accomplish.
Hello @jacobpeacock, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!
Thanks @creativecrypto!