Numerous studies have shown that three-quarters of people around the world feel guilty. We are to blame for that cannot be perfect wives-husbands fault that I can't solve the problems of the parents, blame the bosses that can't be great employees, blame the kids that can't be the best parents and give them all the best. And most importantly, our feelings of guilt and shame – this is the button that can be pressed absolutely any person in order for you to obey his orders: the inner "I'm bad" forces us again and again to do what we dislike, to cross over.

If you become interested, how to get rid of guilt, then you probably do not live their lives, and it does not suit anyone.

What we know about wine

Before you get rid of feelings of guilt and shame for their actions, you need to understand that this feeling is not a given from nature. He is brought up in us through fear and the threat of punishment. It's our parents that the child should feel bad, otherwise, not only won't do the work that pleases the parents, but does not adapt to the rules imposed by society.

• Do not forget that this feeling will never tell you where a good deed, but wrong...It only "punishes" for being what we are punished by the parents.

• It does not allow us to analyze errors, but only prevents it. Rather, you will begin to accuse others of your mistakes.

• It does not make us human, leaving behind only the anger, anger and resentment that we throw at those who are not exactly to blame.

And of course, guilt is not a sense of responsibility, it makes us unhappy and destructive in itself. So if you scold a child for a mess in the room, it will only save up anger, which eventually will turn into an internal "I'm bad", but responsible and careful it will not do. It is much more pedagogical to explain to the child for many weeks in a row that it is easier to live with order in the room. Perhaps, have your children monster entitled" I bad", devouring and depriving own life and own individuality, not will. What about us adults? First, decide what you need-to stay good for everyone or to be happy the way you like? If the former, then you can not read, and if the latter, then first of all remember that yourself you are alone, and life alone. The second you will not, so you need not only to be led and after each charge to do what others want, but also to live for themselves. How to do it?

First of all, stop making excuses

You had motives to do just that, so when you're accused, notice at what point you want to open your mouth and start an acquittal. At this point we begin to count to ten or say the mantra to myself, to sing a song to remember a poem...anything, but don't make excuses. Do not be humiliated in front of those who have already accused you, it will still be used against you.

Don't idealize anyone.

Unfortunately, many believe that others are better than themselves anyway. The blame, once again, parents and teachers who set you the example of other children. But the perfect person, appearance or relations do not exist. It is better to allow your neighbors and yourself to be yourself – with its disadvantages and advantages. Ah, and on positive to focus not only in precept, but and in itself.

Learn to say "no"

Again, here nurture is to blame. But before you thoughtlessly go to someone to help, think: what if it will harm your interests and violate important for you plans? If a friend asks you to help cultivate the land in the country, and you're tired during the week very much, you can refuse, but also transfer the execution of the request for a time that is convenient for you or suggest alternatives in which you choose not to participate. And think about who will be better from the fact that you feel guilty…

Learning not to succumb to manipulation

Consider what emotions and feelings of others often makes you feel guilty: irritation, other people's tears, resentment, bad mood. Don't react if people are trying to manipulate you with these feelings.

Stop being a lifeguard

People need help, but that doesn't mean they need to be put on their heads. If your friend has five brothers, but in the night he calls you in order for you pulled his car out of the snow, remember that you not only rescue, but also people.

Forgive yourself

This is the most difficult. But remember that guilt is only aggression that you direct at yourself. You have the right to make a mistake and to be able to correct it.

Burn your guilt complex

That's the way. Write down on paper all, in than you blame and accused, literally all with early childhood until today and burn.

Something you're definitely not to blame for

And don't even need to feel this guilt.

• You are not to blame for the perception of the person. You are not responsible for his reaction, not his fault that they pissed at you, not able to converse constructively, etc. People react to you anyway just because I can't react differently.
• It's not your fault you make mistakes you don't know about. You can not know everything, so you are not responsible for the unknown to you.
• Don't blame you and in the actions of others. Also, it is not to blame for their emotions, feelings and perception. You have nothing to do with their reactions, their perception of what is bad, their behavior. So you will remove the ballast responsibility for other people's lives that do not concern you and take responsibility for your life.
• It's not your fault you can't do anything. Just quietly think of the time when you will learn something.
• Finally, you will not lose love because of your behavior!

Don't make excuses or try to be good. Those who created their opinion of you by one act, it is unlikely it will change and it is not necessary to justify them. And those who love, will love such, as there is.