Deep in thought

Well come to some pretty deep realisations recently, I guess what you resist persist allot of the time.I have been so adamant not to live by others expectations throw life that ultimately that's has what has happened when it comes down to it.
The last few years well 5 or 6 years have been slow progress, perhaps trying to help and please others, and not having the time to for fill my own aims in life,yes while others have added opposition, I am not victim , these were lessons I needed to learn.
Im not as an enlightened being as I would have liked to have thought or like to be,while perhaps I have moved on from the past,i have realised I have never truly gone back and done the hard work to put things correct and enable me to move forward perhaps theirs been some foolish pride,or maybe Iv subconsciously punished myself. I guess iv realised allot of my currently life no longer serves me, this may all sound negative to some but its actually great to realise as hard as it can be to face upto short falls in ones character. Im currently giving away allot of my stuff, of allot of which I don't want any money for,so il post thing on here,I know their are some very enlightened people on here so Id love you in put if you have a minute as to what Iv put.Anyways peace