Frozen paths and loneliness --Shivling peak base Tapovan

They appear like some innocent, bored but fatal killers. When i see snow mountains, i like them. On diwali and new year, my brother used to buy some scenery pictures to decorate the interiors of our old home. And since then, i always liked frozen mountains. Even in my romantic dreams, these cold mountains had a place. And then i finally went to the frozen mountains and found nothing romantic about these snow paths. Most of the time, my body was covered with kilos of clothes and it was hard to take a breath. Then why these mountains always are considered beautiful and a place to realise the God. I do not know.
There is a lot of boredom here in mountains and a lot of time i spent thinking about death and then death was not a fear anymore. Then i lost the words and forgot the names of my favourite movies as well. After a while, I stopped missing my friends and family and then later on, nothing was ugly or beautiful anymore. My whole sense was gone except my body feeling cold.
Then i thought i was born alone and i will die alone and between birth and death is my life.
I knew what does it to be lonely. I craved for sex but then i realised oh! That won't kill my loneliness either. I checked network in my broken phone and there is no network either. And i realised there is nothing to talk either. Speaking was difficult as i was running out of thoughts and ideas. I was trying to imagine many things but succeeded in nothing.
I have felt lonely like this before in a crazy crowd as well but this time i felt cold at the same time.
When i was drinking tea with my friends few days later, i assumed may be everyone is lonely but no one really confess. I don't mean to say i wanted to get rid of this state of being. I am just saying i just didn't know how to feel about all of it. But i realise there are so many wonders loneliness can do. It can bring back our past, dead people and make them talk to us and i kind of liked it. When i first started walking, i was unaware. It might sound funny but the way i found my own sense of being is not by reading a book, watching a movie or from some guru. Loneliness has revealed who I am and what i want.