Gy'uk Paghktang Flubberboff

This is how I greeted people as I pranced, hobbled, shashayed, and galloped across Vegas today. Well, some people. Others I spoke to with my patented moose call, or ignored completely as I argued with Gargatcha, my invisible friend who needs chocolate more than life itself.

It was an interesting experience; one which I had no expectation from aside from having fun. I previously busked the day before, so I already had some exposure with having the attention of the Vegas hordes that marched passed. But, this was very different. A juggler on the side of the street is expected in the city that never sleeps. A crazy guy with q-tip and sticks in his beard, donned with a plastic bag sash, pencil behind his ear, and a sweater stained with various unknown substances is something which is always a spectacle anywhere outside of downtown Syracuse.

After sprinting up the stairs like a dog, I skipped across the overpass, and on the other side I found a group of costumed characters prepping for the day. I stepped into their circle like it was another day at work, apologizing for being late. Immediately, the group went silent, and a guy in a Master Chief costume looked at me as if I just shit my pants in front of him. I wound up talking to another guy in a Captain America costume who seemed to get the idea, at least a little bit. He understood that it was an experiment to get out of my comfort zone, but I lost him when I explained that I wanted to teach philosophy, and this was a perfect way to bypass people's mental barriers by defying expectations.

I mean, we all know the story. Guy who has all the answers goes to the city gate of a coastal city; you know, a place with a constant stream of new people coming and going. Starts yelling some crazy shit to agitate someone and start a predictable and easily dismissible argument. For example:

“I am the Son of God!”

“That's blasphemous!”

“But brother, surely you know our father?”

Master Chief really didn't get it, and told me I would never make money that way. The dysfunctional thinking of Babylon is something I find incredibly fascinating. All of us covered the same strip, with me going from one end to the other and back. Awen followed at a distance, taking the role of a lone tourist photographing her trip. Neither of us heard anyone talking about Master Chief, or any of the costumed characters. But, we confirmed there was a lot of buzz going around about that crazy juggler. Was it an act? Did he need help? Dude, his juggling was fucking SICK.

Apparently Master Chief has never heard of game theory. He might get a handful of dollars each day, but he has nowhere to grow an act that can pull the complete attention of the whole potential audience. If I learn a bit of salesmanship and/or showmanship, I’m sitting on an idea that will rocket me into widespread notoriety and make the small bills Master Chief was fishing for a waste of time.

Which reminds me, after we spoke to Ericka at the timeshare presentation, we sat down with another salesman named Efron whose eyes lit up when we mentioned we were part of an organization making our own currency. Yes, just like Bitcoin! Yes Mr Moneyman, we have 70 million dollars worth of assets, including a silver reserve, and we have successfully made 8 other successful decentralized autonomous organizations over the past decade. Our website? My email? Why certainly!