Villainous Fortresses

Alright then. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A well hidden secret fortress, defended by mutant sharks piranhas crocodiles dragons? animals, an electric fence, and some other things (which I won't mention now because why would I give you the details? I don't want you to break in.) works better. Well, said fortress would work as long as it's not a doctor who is running it. Then we'd run into some slight problems.

Wow. I really am absolutely insane. Would anybody else see the words "an apple a day keeps the doctor away," and have their mind immediately jump there? (there being my thought process, not the actual fortress. It would be quite fun to have my mind jump there, unless my body would be left behind. That would most certainly not be fun, it would leave me as mindless as the rest of the world.)

Well. I think that is that. I sincerely hope no psychologists/figures of authority are reading this. And no, you don't count as a figure of authority if you think you are important, or if you look important (important figure. get it? no? ok, I'll just leave now...)(Well actually I won't. But who really thought I was serious there?)

And there goes all my ideas. Well no, I didn't really have any ideas, I never really do. Most of what I think of is prompted on the spot, one thought process firing up another. It's actually kind of weird that when I write essays they have to be carefully planned.

Hmm. Rutabagas? Nope, already used that... How about world domination? I've long considered going over to my friends acquaintances (now you can feel bad for me) with a knife and saying _"take your weapon, Strike me down, and your journey to the dark side shall be complete! (I'm such a nerd). The only problem is that knowing my friends acquaintances, they'd actually do it. I associate with weird people.

Well, I suppose it's rather fitting, because others associate weird people with me. Or just weirdness, not really sure. I don't know, I've been informed that I'm a weird sort of fellow (not in those words, I'm likely the only person alive who talks like that anymore) far too many times over the past several days, mostly by those considered among the oddest in any room they're in.

As stated. I associated with... interesting people. Weeeell, I didn't actually say it like that, but if I pretend I did now, no one will be allowed to mention my lack of subtlety. It would be unsubtle.

See what I did there? Wow, if you have to ask that question, your joke wasn't funny. Fortunately I didn't have to ask that question - I simply chose to look bad. Yes that is my usual excuse. Your point being?

Please don't actually point at the screen. The world can only handle so many cringey jokes. I'm not really sure how many, but I suspect I've come close.

Welllllllll, all those 'L's look kinda dysfunctional, so I'm feeling far less left out. Hmm, ok I feel lame for having made way too many references jokes about how weird I am. (Let's just pretend they're jokes)

So before I ruin my non-existent reputation too much-

-Hyperbole out

Random words under post: As per usual, this was written freewrite style, with nothing being corrected more than 3 seconds after being typed (and that's just instinctual). That was probably a bad decision today.