What's luck got to do with it?

I've written before on luck and fate and my opinion on it – that it's essentially just a lie that conveniently soothes our guilt and frees us of responsibility. And I thought I wouldn't do an article on a similar subject this soon, but something has been on my mind.

Yesterday, I visited with my grandmother and we talked, for a while, about different things...life, mostly. About me breaking up with my boyfriend and about the romantic history of the women in my family. And, while talking about an aunt of mine, my grandmother said 'She just wasn't lucky.'

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And this made me think...What does that mean, honestly? That she didn't get married. That she didn't find a man. Well, this, to me, is an odd concept – because I don't understand what's luck got to do with it?
Because, see, my grandmother wasn't talking about the supposed luck of meeting your other half, of finding that one amazing person with whom you just click. No, it's much simpler than that. Much more dull – luck, in this case, refers to meeting a decent man, whom you manage to please somehow (in the sense that you cook, clean, are of a good family and so on) and get him to marry you. It's a view from another era, I'm aware of that. And that's not what's bothering me – I just don't get what's lucky about this scenario?
I could sense a small disappointment in her voice when I told her that I've broken up with the dude I was seeing – I won't be getting married soon. Sadly.
In short, I wasn't lucky either.

Only, it wasn't luck. It was me.
I broke up with him, I made a choice. And even if it had been the other way around, with him ending it, I wouldn't have seen it as luck. It just didn't work out, as a result of actions, mainly. Actions, which are the result of our choices. We don't do something without first choosing to do it. And we take the risk of what the consequences of that action are. It's simple and it has nothing to do with luck.

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But it's easier to think that happiness is dictated by luck, somehow. Because then the whole weight of it is off our shoulders, we can just live our lives, without worrying or rather, without doing anything, because we can't influence the outcome anyway.

Thing is, we can influence the outcome. In fact, we do influence the outcome quite a great deal. It's not 100% us, no, it never is. But it has a lot to do with us, with our choices and actions. With the directions we take in life.

And I believe we must embrace that knowledge, the fact that it's about us, it's up to us. Because if we keep waiting for someone else, for some superior being or some mysterious dice in the sky to roll our fate, we risk screwing up royally.

Take, for example, the movie 'Mr Nobody' (fantastic film, if you haven't seen it, do), which explores various paths, various futures of the same boy, all depending on a choice he makes. And then, on other choices, along the way. None is portrayed as the bad one, the unlucky straw, because none of them is. There's no such thing. There are only different futures you can have, depending on what you do with your life. Some happier than others, sure, but all with their advantages and their disadvantages.

Life is a gamble, but it's not about luck. It's about what horse you choose. And if the horse you pick turns out to not be the winner, then you can choose to bet again. Or to go home and lick your wounds. It's all a choice.

And it's not dictated by someone else. It ain't coming from the outside.

You make your own luck.

Thank you for reading,