Let's Go!

I've been so aggravated with myself lately. It's as if a game of tug of war is being played by my inner self who wants to thrive and do all the things I set out to do versus my conditioned-self that brings up all the anxieties and self-doubts that keep me in a state of stagnation. However, the uneasiness with not trying is now overpowering the complacency with living life on default, filled with mediocrity and strife! It's like my inner-self is screaming try, damn it, try! But, I get overwhelmed thinking about everything I've said I wanted to accomplish, big or small, and end up not attempting anything.
I'm flooded with this feeling of intense irritation of stalling and being revved up while hearing a voice yelling GO GO GO!! COME ON GO! GET ON THE ROAD AND JUST GO! I start to think of all the things I need to correct, do I have the energy? But, I can't shake this feeling that only gets stronger. I don't even know where to start, but I feel as though my life depends on me doing something! I know I can't continue to sit on my hands and look back a month from now wondering, "Would anything be different had I gone through with what I said? Would my situation be worse, the same, or better?"
Well, let's think about this...
First, the only way I can see the situation getting worse is if I continue to not take action; hence, my anxiety when each day in passivity passes by. So, that's not a reality for me.
Next, how would I feel about things staying the same?
Honestly, it would be frustrating, embarrassing even... However, thinking further, the thought actually brings me back to a time when I put my all into this project but it was "denied for submission" due to being too "controversial". Though it was a huge disappointment (and I wish I had stood up for my work more), there still remains this sense of integrity.
I think of all the work I put towards that project and even though the expectation for some sort of accolades fell flat, the sense of accomplishment came from starting with an idea, moving forward without really caring to think of what others might say, and seeing it through to the end. That, in itself, feels much better than simply not trying and settling for a shiftless and boring life.
So, the outcome of things staying "the same" isn't all that bad, though will things really stay the same if I were to put in some type of initiative? Which leads me to the final outcome of things getting better, which is the whole point of putting in the effort!
So, what am I waiting for?! There's no glitch in the system that's going to get fixed and poof my life is neatly and magically put in place with no more worries. The only glitch is in my thinking, my beliefs and my (in)actions that have kept me stuck in this limbo.
Again, I have no idea on where to start. Maybe the best thing to do at this point is to start small and build up from there? Build up my confidence with each little milestone. Build from my experiences and adjust accordingly.
But first, I must buckle up, use and trust my GPS, and get on that road! I've learned it's easier said than done, in some cases, but I'm willing to finally give it a go.

All photos taken by me on smartphone