The most weirdest thing I have found couple doing.

I am so glad someone asked this question because it's one of my favorite stories. When I first started dating my husband he was a county park ranger. He worked late shift so I'd take some dinner up for him and his supervisor/partner, Colby, and then I'd ride or walk along on his beat with him. If you've never ridden along with a police officer, anyone can do it, and I highly recommend it. Just call your local department and request a citizen’s ride along.

At any rate, one of the duties for these county rangers was to make sure the “day use only” areas weren’t being misused or vandalized at night. This particular park had trouble with vandals and suicides jumping off of cliffs, so they put at least one POST certified ranger on duty late shift. POST certification means that the officer has full police authority and responsibilities, including arrest, detainment, and deadly force (carries a gun). Both my husband and his partner were qualified this way, and were pretty diligent about checking those day use areas and running off the harmless folks that would show up to hang out or whatever.

So you can imagine there were plenty of lovers who tried to park there and make out. That was a regular occurrence. I can't blame them, honestly. The park is gorgeous, and these day use areas provide an epic view of both the night sky, the hills beyond, and the reservoir below. Turn around and park the other way, and miles of glittering city stretches out before you. These overlooks are quite romantic.

So one night we pull into a day use area and there are two dudes sitting kind of stiffly in a car, looking out over the reservoir. My husband, Jim, (boyfriend at the time) gets out, as does his partner. I stayed in the patrol vehicle, but rolled down the window to hear what they were saying. It went something like this:

Jim (shining flashlight inside of car): “Good evening, gentlemen. Are you aware that this area is Day Use Only?”

Guy 1: “"What?”

Jim (shines flashlight on “This Area for Day Use Only” sign, directly in front of their car): “"Let’s read the sign together.” (Uses flashlight beam to follow the words.) “Daaay Uuuuse Oooonly.”

Guy 1: “Oh.”

Jim: “So what are you guys doing here?”

Guy 1: “Looking at the stars.”

Jim (shines flashlight up into the sky): “There's no stars. It's been cloudy all night.”

Guy 1 (looks down): “Oh.”

Jim’s partner Colby: “We are going to need to see both of your IDs, please.”

The two guys produce their ID’s and hand them to Colby.

Colby, to Guy 1: “So how do you know him?” indicating Guy 2.

Guy 1: “Um, we are cousins.”

Colby: “"Ok, then, what's his name?”

Guy 1 (pauses, then looks down): “I don't know.”

Colby: "You mean to tell me you two are cousins, but you don't even know his name? Right. So how do you really know him?”

Guy 2: “We met on Craigslist.”

Colby: “"WHEN did you meet on Craigslist?”

Guy 1: “Today.”

Jim (shining flashlight on the front seat): “"What's that?”

Guy 2: “A box.”

Jim: “What's in it?”

Guy 1: “I don't know.”

Jim: “There's a fancy little wooden box in your car and you don't know what's in it? Goody! A mystery! Well, come on! Open it up and let's find out - I can't wait!”

Colby: “You know how I love a mystery, Jim! Yeah, open it up (looks at ID)… Carl.”

I see the dismayed man open something on his lap. Both officers visibly cringe.

Colby: “What the fuck? That's not right, man.”

Jim: “You've gotta be fucking kidding me, dudes. Really?! Give me the box!”

Guy 1 gives Jim the open box.

Jim: “A very scared little toad and a bunch of Magnum condoms? This isn't astronomy!”

Colby: “Oh Lord, DEFINITELY NOT astronomy!”

Jim (looking into the box): "Poor little guy! (Four finger points at Guy 1 then Guy 2) You two oughta be ashamed!!!”

Colby: “As park rangers one of our duties is to make sure that the local wildlife remains, literally in this case, unmolested. This is a bufo cognatus, or Plains Toad, indigenous to this area.”

Jim: “The way I see it, Colby, these two have a choice. They either let this little guy go and get the fuck out of our park, or we nail them both for possession of local wildlife with intent to harm.” (There is actually no such statute, so Colby is trying to keep a straight face.)

Guy 1: “I'll let him go.”

Jim: “Hurry up, then, he's scared!”

Guy 1 gets out, takes box over to a rock lit up by the flashing lights, lifts the toad out of the box, and gently prods him to hop away. Then he walks over to the car and gets back in, eyes down.

Colby: “Now take your IDs, and go home.”

Guy 2: “Yes, sir.”

Jim: “And no more messing with the wildlife!”

Guy 1: “Yes, sir.”

The two drive away, and Colby and Jim lose it, laughing. Then we headed back to park HQ to tell the other rangers all about it.