AN EPIPHANY : a flash fiction

So, fellas, this is my first fictional writing here and it's a flashfiction, trust me, it's really flash indeed.
Expect more from me. But enjoy this first.

Source

When I kissed a girl, in entirety, I felt a slumping disappointment. I didn't like the way her lips melted in my mouth, I didn't like the way she dissolved into nothing like I could phase through her. Worse of it all, I hated the way she paused, anticipating my next move - That dependency, churned my tummy. The towers of expectation crumbled.

If I am not straight, then they are right after all. I felt a train ram into me at the confirmation of what I already knew. A tear would leak later.

But when I kissed a boy-----

Like through pages, our lips opened new chapters. Seeking definitions to mysteries, my hand searched through buffed chest and riddling ribcages. Like chocolate, he stayed in my mouth. Even though no pent up expectations, I'd later that night close my eyes with a cheesy chuckle as the scene will replay.

The beauty of the kiss would wane as I realized that brief emptiness I felt between the kiss. That moment my hands searched for mysteries in lumps and flesh. That moment I paused, searching an adventure between the plains of areolas and hips.

If I am not gay, then what am I? The sudden relief of not being gay, was overshadowed by a bigger fear. Fear of who I might be.

Thanks for reading!