Choices and Decisions

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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I learnt about this poem by Robert Frost in school last time as we studied English Literature. This poem stood out to leave quite a deep impression in me (for some reasons, I can't seem to remember the others anymore, hmm) .

It talks about the author was making a decision between two choices/paths in this context. He was thinking that maybe he could return to take another path another day but later he realized he couldn't. He knew that this decision may change his entire life. The fork is a symbol of choices he has to make about his life and each path would definitely lead to a different direction his life may go to, so he has to choose carefully. Finally, the author chose the path that lesser people have chosen and it has changed his life entirely.

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Is this you? Well, that is me. When it comes to making decisions, I would suddenly become so lacking in confidence. I have always wanted to make the best decision(Now, I don't even know if the best decision exists) , so I don't disappoint my parents, my friends, my leaders or rather myself. It has always been stressful when it comes to decision-making and I would be seeking for opinions from many different people, just because I couldn't believe that I can make a great decision myself.

When We Are Faced Up with Many Choices

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Everyday, we are surrounded by choices, whether we are aware or not. It is common that we are faced with choices in life: what to do, what to eat, what to talk about, how to say certain things, how to react or respond etc. The people around us so not make it any "easier" for us too because they also would want to contribute their opinions and justifications. Because of being bombarded, some people may not even want to make any decision in life.

Undeniably, we have to make MORE decisions as we grow. Looking at my son, he didn't choose as much as he does now when he was just a newborn. We would decide for him that time and gradually, we want to empower him to decide as he grows. Thus, learning to choose is part of growing up and it is unavoidable.

I once heard a preacher who said, "By not making any decision, you have actually made a decision." That's true because even if we decided not to choose and just leave things be, it is still a decision.

So, with so many choices and options in life, how do we know if the one we make is going to be a right decision? Hmm, is there even such thing a right decision? What do you think? How do we decide on something?

By not making any decision, you have actually made a decision. ~ Jason Wong

We Can Weigh the Choices

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Often, we try to list down the pros and cons to weigh the choices presented before us. I think that is an intelligent and wise thing to do. That is if we can still analyze the situation and choices rationally. Just like Robert Frost in his poem, he did consider where the two paths may lead to, respectively. However, sometimes it requires us to also follow the lead of our heart.

I would always remember this guideline from my leaders and they too would remind me in their encouragement: Do not make a decision hastily, and don't make it when you are sad, heartbroken, disappointed or not in a good state. Decisions can be made emotionally and it has to involve some emotions but too much lopsided emotions may cause us to make a bad one.

Sometimes, our ideal choice is not one of the options so we have to decide based on the options available. It maybe because it is not the right timing or we can't afford more then we also got to be happy with what we can decide based on what we have. For some decisions, I would sit on them for a long time before I decide.

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come. ~Robert H. Schuller
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Make a Powerful Decision and Stick with It

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One day, I was tutoring one of my students and I realize there was something very different about her that day. Her exams were approaching and seriously there was a lot to revise on. I was troubled at first what if I'm the one who wants to see her excel but she herself doesn't want to. I had a talk with her the day before about what she wants to see herself achieve and she wow-ed me the next day. She came out with pages after pages of notes for her different subjects. Just yesterday, she messaged me to tell me she did very well in her first-time subjects Geography and History. She made a decision to take interest in her studies and now she can tell me stories about the king with seven wives, the Tudors of England, which Mary did what, how to form headlands and bay, why life expectancy is higher in some countries, what affects population growth etc. I'm so proud of her. She is quite a quiet girl but she could not hide her excitement and texted me.

A powerful decision may not look like it is a big decision that everyone would know, it can even be a decision made behind-the-scene that no one knows but it is a decision that can maybe change a course. For example, we can decide to do something happily and willingly, rather than grudgingly and sulk all the way. The outcome maybe the same but when we arrive at the destination point, the feeling would be totally different!

If someone wrong us, we can also choose to respond the same way the person did or we can respond in a more honourable way. If we choose the way the person did, then yes it would be never-ending in seeing who can hurt the other party more and in the end we have two hurtful persons. If we can choose not to respond the same way, perhaps there could be an honourable confrontation and restoration.

Make a decision out of love, not out of fear.

Say Sorry if It Hurts | Pat Yourself if It is Great

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No matter what our decisions are, they will always affect someone including ourselves. It may not be an all-round beneficial decision to everyone and may hurt somebody, it is okay to say sorry. If it was a powerless decision that we went ahead knowing the consequences, then we got to accept it as the result of our doings. For instance, it can be a decision which ignored my good friend's feelings and still went ahead with an action that hurts her, then I got to know that it is valid for her to not trust me for some time.

Sometimes, we may regret our decisions and that's okay by me. I accepted the fact that we can't be making the best decisions at all times and it is okay to regret over some if they are bad. Just take it as a lesson from life and move on after some contemplation over it.

On the contrary, if we make a powerful decision in the midst of hurt, we must congratulate ourselves for doing that, even if it took so much of us to do such a difficult thing. A good example would be we CAN choose to be kind when others are unkind to us or they hurt us.

The point I want to bring out is: Be powerful to choose, own the decision and be responsible for it.

Own the decision and be responsible for it!

I have also learnt that one decision will lead to another decision. There will be unending "forks" or choices in our lives. Every decision will open up a different path for us. Whenever I struggle with making decisions nowadays, I pray and I wait from God. Sometimes, He would tell me I can decide on anything, and He will open up ways, branching from my decision. Sometimes, it is obvious one of the choices is bad so if I insist on that, my conscience will not be at ease as our conscience has the ability to feel the "yay" or "nay".

Making decisions can be scary but we are empowered to do that. You and I are made to be able to do this. Let's get the right motivation and motive to do so!

Now, what should I eat for lunch and dinner today? Which shirt should I wear today? Hahaha!