Telling self-confidence from swagger
Here's what self-confidence isn't: it's not swagger, it's not bluster, it's not being braggadocios, it's not making a big show out of one's past successes or perceived ability to succeed in the future. These sorts of people will often avoid talking in detail about an issue, and might instead say not to worry because they'll handle it. If you see this kind of behavior in others, it's up to you whether to believe them, or maybe even feel a little sad for them. When self-confidence is truly present, a person doesn't need to hide her imperfections, because she knows there is no such thing as perfection, and that she can still do incredibly well in life without perfection.
"People with superficial swagger tend to hype themselves up," says Dr Lee, "and have something known as "contingent self esteem," meaning their confidence is only based on a situation — when something goes wrong, they start to crumble. If someone seems too preoccupied by singing their own praises, or creating a picture perfect image, it's often a red flag that they feel insecure."
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