I Was Once A Double Major

I was a double major while I was in secondary school. To the uninitiated, a double major may mean an undergraduate that had completed the requirement for two degrees in school.



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While the school did not issue any certificate on this double major, it had something to do with Schooling. It was an experience worth its weight in garri gold.

My best friend Dan is a boy that was years ahead of his time in innovation. Because of some of his vivid imagination, he was prone to daydreams with a resultant run-in with Mr. Chaiko. He is our Introductory Technology teacher who was brilliant, left-handed, notorious for his love of the Benson & Hedges cigarettes and his other passion; whipping students who were not paying attention in his class.

Dan was always lost in thought in the Introductory Technolgy classes. His thoughts usually on the next project he would work on. He is good at fabrication and other handcraft. For instance, he made a pottery of the school principal's bust which he keeps in his school locker.

That makes him a very wrong candidate for the Introductory Technology class which we shortened to Intro Tech. The name is a mouthful, and our tired young brains could do with less work! Hence Dan is constantly pissing Mr. Chaiko off during the classes as he continuously gives wrong answers to the question he asked. In one of the classes, Mr. Chaiko exploded in anger, "Daniel if you continue this way you would never amount to very much in the future!"

Surprisingly and I bet much to the chagrin of Mr. Chaiko he DID amount to something. The last time I saw him, he was a successful motor mechanic. I bet all those Intro Tech classes was not a waste after all. But that would be a story for another post day.

Mr. Chaiko is a chain smoker, or as Dan would like to call him a rope smoker as chains have some holes on it and may not be descriptive enough to show his nonstop smoking habit. The back window of his office could bear testament to his 20 stick a day habit of smoking.

Cigarette butts could be seen lying underneath that window. Because of this habit, he does not stay with other teachers in the staff room. He chose to stay at the school's workshop where there is nobody but him, tools, machines and his favorite friends the cigarettes.

There is no need denying his brilliance. He was brilliant as he was short tempered. Most students have a sort of fear when it's time to go to the workshop for the usual Intro Tech classes. Other teachers come to the class to teach, but Mr. Chaiko would have none of that, he needs us to see his second love, the machines. His first is undeniably Benson & Hedges cigarettes.

One thing no one could say of him is that he smoked in class. For a chain smoker who during short breaks in teaching sneaks into his office for a quick smoke, he never once smoked in class. That is discipline. But if during question time and you did not get it right, his lefthanded flogging would make you wish you never applied to our secondary school.

His office (workshop) is far from where the teacher's staff room is, cries for help would never be heard by anybody. Boys are whipped on the buttocks while girls get theirs on the palm. He has a variety of canes of different sizes, length and shapes, some tiny which tend to bend on the impact on your palm thereby hitting the back of the palm, some thick and never bend.

Dan always finds it painful to sit after an Intro Tech class due to obvious wrong answers to Mr. Chaiko's questions. You do not dare miss Mr. Chaiko's class as he would personally fish you out of other teachers class for a walk to the workshop! No one wants that walk. Therefore, like lambs to the slaughter, we always troop into the workshop, head down, while looking fearfully at the array of canes beautifully displayed in one corner.

Why did we not report Mr. Chaiko to the other teachers or our parents? You may ask. It is like tradition, no one dreams of reporting a teacher then, if your elder brother could take it, you too should. Life continues, it is not like Mr. Chaiko is pure evil, he often has a good relationship with most of the parents, who even commend him on the best behavior of their sons after attending his classes. Lol.

Little did they know what happens there. But one day they got to know. But as always, that is probably a story for another post day. Dan had been consistently getting whipped, that now he comes to school with towels to make his seat more comfortable to sit. I hardly get flogged as I pay utmost attention to his class as if my life depended on it. In a way, I think it does. Who wants to be caned by the lefthanded, chain-smoking, Mr. Chaiko?

One weekend, Dan came over to our house, and we were doing a general house clean up.

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He joined us. I like Dan because he is hardworking, but books are not his strong suit. He helped me pull out our worn rug carpet which my Dad instructed us to take out and burn. We took out the old rug carpet to the backyard and was about to burn it when Dan had a brilliant idea. He said the torn old rug carpet would be useful to us in the future. I wondered if he was joking or not. But I found out he was serious when he brought out a kitchen knife from his school bag, the boy always has weird stuff in his school bag, and proceeded to cut out a sizeable portion which he gave me for safekeeping.

We burnt the rest. I kept the saved part and waited. Dan is a boy that loves to keep his every move a secret. I did not bother to ask him what he wanted to use the rug for. At about 6 AM he on Tuesday the next week that we usually have Intro Tech classes, Dan was in our house. I was surprised to see Dan that usually comes late this early. I wondered what could have happened. I did not ask. He went straight to my room and brought out scissors from his bag.

He picked up the rug carpet and started cutting it out in a square shape. He now explained we would use it to pad our buttocks to cushion the effect of the cane. That is a technique popularly known as double in school. The double has always been done using things like a piece of mattress or paper. The teachers are quick to notice those type due to the unnatural sound it makes when the cane lands on it.

But Dan is a genius; he was able to figure out rug would be a better alternative. That day in class, Dan, as usual, failed the answers and was brought out to the front of the class to be caned.

Taaaa! Taaa! Taaa!

The sounds a cane makes when it lands on flesh. The cane landed on his buttocks, Dan jumped up in pain with each stroke and screamed loudly.



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We looked on helplessly and very afraid we could be the next victim. After about seven strokes of the cane, he was told to go back to his seat. He started walking back to his seat in tears. Suddenly he slowed his steps, with his back to the teacher, and gave me a slow wink with a mischievous smile.

I was instantly relieved on seeing that mischievous wink. He later told me that the double worked, that he did not feel a thing. He just put up the show of pain, and the tears were gotten by rubbing mentholated ointment on his eyes which produced the "real" tears we witnessed. Before you know it, most students got to know of our technique. Most evenings my mother always wondered what the kids hanging around the house are waiting for.

Little did she know the son is now a double dealer who majored in the coveted double rug. The kids are lining up to get theirs <3

@greenrun