Thailand Visa Bullhicky…. Again!

You would think that after more than a decade of living in Thailand that one might know some insider tips to the system. However, this simply isn’t possible because the rules are constantly changing and are not universally enforced. I, yet again, find myself stuck in limbo, because one city’s embassy decides to make their own rules… for reasons I can not understand.

I spent the last 2 weeks in Australia in a city that had a Thai Embassy. The idea was that I would get my Thai visa done while I was in Brisbane… seems easy enough, right? This is where the first part of my conundrum begins. As it turns out, the Brisbane Royal Thai Embassy flat out REFUSES to process any visas for non Australians. I have never heard of this happening. I took it in stride, and booked another city on my return trip to Thailand (because I currently have no visa to Thailand) and as silly as it sounds they force you to apply for this visa while not in Thailand, despite the fact that I had a legal visa while I was there.

I booked a ticket to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, a city that I hate because they never seem to finish building in it. The roads are consistently chaos and everything is under construction. Combine this with the fact that it is a Sharia country that taxes the crap out of booze thereby making beer in a mini-mart 5x the price of a bar in Thailand, and perhaps you can understand why I don’t like it.

I was harangued by both the Australian flight desk and Malaysian immigration for not having a flight ticket for onward travel but I didn’t have an onward ticket because I can forsee there being issues with processing my visa as I have been down this road many times before. It almost NEVER happens as quick as it is supposed to because each consulate seems to make up their own rules and a lot of the “service” you receive seems to be dependent on how satisfied the person behind the glass is with their employment situation.

you can't tell me that anyone looks closely at 400 documents per applicant

In Kuala Lumpur, my mountain of paperwork was denied because I didn’t have a criminal background check from my home country. I quickly got a taxi to the US embassy in the same city (just a few km away) only to find out that acquiring said document involves a 6-week waiting period and involves using snail mail (WTF?) So, I am supposed to just hang out in Malaysia for 6-weeks while waiting for this? If this had ever been pointed out to the public at any time in the past I could have prepared for this, but after having 2 entire passports filled with Thai visa stamps I have never needed to provide these documents. Obviously I am not going to wait here for 6 weeks.

So the onward travel flight that I was forced to purchase before getting here will not be used because I don’t have a visa for where the ticket is going to. I am now on my way to Penang, Malaysia because I spoke to an agent up there and he said that they have no criminal background check requirement.

Ok, if you want to have stringent entry policies to your country I say go for it. It is your country after all and you can do whatever you want. However, the fact that I can go to 2 different Thai embassies in the same country and be subjected to a completely different set of application requirements is entirely absurd. This is not governing, this is not protecting a nation’s sovereignty, this is simply people in power being a**holes.

get ready to be senselessly mistreated!

I was going to just get a tourist visa and have it converted once I re-entered Thailand, but one of the requirements was that I needed to have confirmed bookings for the ENTIRE DURATION of my stay. The visa is for 3 months. Who TF knows where they are going to be staying during an entire 3 months while on a tourist run? As a backpacker (which honestly, is the only real type of traveler that goes somewhere for 3 months) I didn’t know where I was going to be staying TOMORROW for sure, let alone 3 months into the future.

It is my understanding that there are now companies out there that specialize in bogus hotel bookings. The bookings are legit, they are in the system, but as soon as your visa is approved you phone up the agency and for the price of something like 3 nights’ stay, your booking is canceled – IE, you never actually stay there. So I ask you, what is this accomplishing?

The most frustrating thing is that I have now wasted hundreds of dollars and several days of my time. I quite like the hotel I am in right now and I have to vacate it in order to fly to another city, just one hour away, where my visa, using the exact same paperwork that I currently possess, will be approved.

So tell me... what is the objective of this run-around? It seems to me that each individual embassy simply makes up more and more difficult rules in order to have less people attempt to apply there. If you want more money, charge more money! I would gladly pay it in order to get around this endless, pointless, stupid, horse-crap.

Well, i guess I'll get ready for my 3rd flight in 2 days. Off to Penang!