Ulog 180: Grateful... Or Not? What Happened?
The other day, as I was standing in line to purchase a gift card for a family member at a Polish restaurant, I happened to see a prayer plaque on the wall that read...
Bless the food before us
Bless the people beside us
Bless the love between us
Amen
It's such a simple prayer verse to be said before every meal. They're such simple words to bless those around you as well as having food to share. It's such a wonderful prayer blessing to be thankful every day and remember how much you appreciate loved ones in your life.
I walked out of the restaurant smiling all the way to my soul.
That is...
Until we stopped at a local store to buy more gift cards for other family members that we rarely, actually never, see throughout the year. The smile on my face and in my heart... vanished.
See there was a family falling out on my husband's side of the family many years ago and since then, holidays are divided. We only see a few of them every holiday season. We never get invited to other family's gatherings because the person my husband had harsh words with will be there. And I think the person(s) hosting the party wants to avoid drama- and I really can't blame them, it is their gathering to invite who they want.
But there are young children (ranging from 10 years down to 1 year) that we still include in our holiday preparations and gift (card) buying.
Our thinking is... why should the children be punished for the sins of the elders.
We haven't even met two of the little ones, and more than likely been forgotten by the older ones. But Christmas is for the children, right?
Every year for the last 10 years we have always given the children store gift cards. The first year we received thank yous from the parents... then starting year two... nothing. No thank you. No acknowledgement. Nothing.
Do People Still Write Thank You Cards Or Invitations?
I know with the fast paced social media and electronic world we live in, most people now-a-days go to their platforms to say thank you. But is that enough?
While I do have social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, I don't go on them. Instagram is the only one I really utilize, but I am not friends with distant family members there.
We have missed some family parties and gatherings because the invites come through these social media places.
My children (and daughter-in-law) know we don't frequent Facebook and the invitations notifications will get lost, and ALWAYS text or call me with the dates, times and locations for the grandchildren's birthday parties.
It seems as if some younger generations (please don't think of me as the "keep of the grass" curmudgeon old person) don't have the desire, need or respect to invite their elders in a old, but for me traditional, way.
This post was made from https://ulogs.org
I gave gifts to my sister's 4 kids. Got thank you notes a couple years, then nothing. After 3 years I just stopped sending gifts.
We were all raised to send thank you notes, even my sister. So..... if they don't appreciate it, what's the use?
I still send thank you notes.
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We never had a tradition of writing a thank you note, being together on the day a hug and kiss after receiving a present, before opening it, is how we treated this.
When we moved further away and did not see the nieces and nephews over special holiday events, we made sure to wrap a special gift when visiting to make up for times not spent together, so once again it was when you could thank family.
Fall-outs are always difficult, children should never be included into adult disagreements, alas it does happen.