The most dangerous predator in Australia - Forget all you've been told

We all know that Australia is one hell of a dangerous place to live. What between the deadly snakes, the crocodiles, the dropbears, the ticks, the bats, the kangaroos and the sharks.

But all of those predators are basically pussies compared to the most vicious and horrendous predator lurking around the Australian environment.

What is this predator that has been known to turn even the toughest man in a babbling baby who just wants his mummy to fix his problems?

Thats right, MANFLU!!!
Now I can hear the collective groans of all the women out there. But you all need to STOP and Listen. You may think that Manflu is made up but its NOT!!!
The women tell us that child birth is the most painful and draining thing ever. But sorry ladies, once you've given birth you're halfway to the level of pain and destruction that is Manflu.

Manflu starts with a tickle in the throat, a bit of a drizzly nose. But a couple of beers, a Nuerofen and it would normally clear it up. But NO, Manflu is a true bastard. It retraces for a day and you relax.
But then BAM!! a coaltrain fires at full speed out of your loungeroom wall and smashes you with every 1 of its 100 fully laden carraiges.
So you use the last shred of energy and drag your limp lifeless body to the cupboard and grab a full bottle of Bundy. Because we're men, we think its logical that if we can pickle our brain cells, we can also pickle the flu virus and kill it.

But again I repeat, MANFLU IS A BASTARD. It absorbs that Bundy and its gets aggressive. It works its way into your muscles and just starts pounding on every fibre and sinew. It crawls up to your eyes and starts break dancing on every one of your rods and cones.

So what happens next is where women start grumbling. As a man we are tough, but we are just getting destroyed from the inside. NO WE CAN'T GET OUR OWN TISSUES!! NO ITS NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE FOR ME TO FLUFF MY OWN PILLOWS!!! and the most infuriating one NO I DON'T NEED YOU TO HELP ME FIND MY BALLS I NEED YOU TO GET ME A PANADOL!!!!

So now you have a bit of an idea what the Australias, if not the worlds most dangerous predator really is. So if you get struck with Manflu I feel your pain brother, and if your man gets struck down with it, NO ITS NOT A COLD, its real and serious. This man has the very real possibility of dying and your smart arse comments aren't helping at all.

If you like this public heath announcement, be sure to upvote and resteem.
BTW this post is dedicated to the memory of @Bulleth, he's the latest victim to be struck down by Manflu and we wish you all a speedy recovery.