SELF-ESTEEM

Self esteem reflects a person's overall or general subjective emotional evaluation or rating of his or her own worth. It can be used to describe the emotional and cognitive evaluation of our own worth..
How we value ourselves reflects the way we think and act.

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Self esteem can also be an attractive psychological construct since it can help predict certain certain outcomes e.g happiness, academic acheivement, criminal behavior and satisfaction in marriage or relationship.

Our self-esteem doesn't have nothing to do with our talent or ability, that you are talented doesn't mean you will have a high self-esteem, why someone struggling can end up having a good self-esteem. To me self-esteem seems to work as a state of mind.
The root to self-esteem in one's lifespan depends on the experiences in one's life, the biggest impact comes from our early childhood, parents or guardian are the ones to make a positive or negative experience. Their unconditional love should give the child a sense of security and respect that later will affect self-esteem as the child grow older.
CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE THAT CONTRIBUTE POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM ARE :-being spoken to respectfully and listened to, give them adequate attention and affection, having acheivement as well as failures adequately acknowledge.
EXPERIENCE THAT BRING NEGATIVE SELF-ESTEEM:- constant criticism, not listening to their own point of view, very high expectations, being emotionally or sexually abused (which is now rampant in our society)
Characteristics of people with high self-esteem
They are motivated to take care of themselves and to persistently strive towards the fulfillment of personal goals and aspirations.

• Trust their own judgement, values and capacity to solve problems, do not feel guilty if others do not approve. Are ready to defend their principles but also feel confident enough to modify them or ask for help if needed.
• Do not excessively worry about the past or the future but rather live in the present.
  Accept individual differences while at the same time consider themselves equal in dignity to others (not superior nor inferior).
  
• Understand that they are valuable and interesting, especially to those with whom they have friendships and relationships.
  They show less fear to failure.

  “Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else”
  -Nathaniel Branden-

The first step in improving self-esteem would be to challenge all the negative messages of the inner voice. Stop and question your inner critic and negative thinking patterns. For example: “He is not saying anything, he is ignoring me” and be objective “He is quiet but I don’t know why, maybe I should ask”. Do not immediately believe every thought you have; your thoughts are not all facts or rules. People spend years ruminating and believing dysfunctional thoughts, thus feeling and behaving in a certain way. Try to begin to tell yourself a different, more positive story (with factual and meaningful self-messages). Take responsibility for reconditioning your thoughts. This is where the recovery of our self-esteem starts.

The second step includes practicing self-compassion . Even if it is the last thing you think you deserve, try to nurture yourself. Feed your soul, mind and body in ways that make you feel special. These ways don’t have to be grand, they can be simple comforts such as enjoying a morning cup of coffee, listening to your favorite song, taking time to relax, or even celebrating what you already have and not always focusing on the past or future (i.e. keeping a gratitude journal). A step further would be to discover and pursue some of your passions. Have a think about the activities you truly enjoy and trigger your creative spirit. Set a few manageable goals and keep precise track of your progress. This boosts motivation and helps self-esteem.
While practicing self-compassion, stay mindful of your emotions . People with low self-esteem often experience emotional extremes, either suppressing their emotions or getting completely swept up by them. Take control of your emotions and try to experience an emotion in a balanced way, instead of being overwhelmed by it. Learn how to manage stress, fear, guilt, anxiety, anger and worry in a more effective and productive way. Developing stronger emotional coping skills will help you manage the negative thoughts.

The third step is to reach out:- People with poor self-esteem often do not ask for help, because they are ashamed or feel that they do not deserve it. Ask for support from people you trust. You will get a chance to share, hear other perspectives, be reminded of what is great about you, and set yourself on a path of getting the help you need. There are also many groups and support networks both online and offline. However, if low self-esteem is extreme and still hard to overcome, it is advisable to talk to a therapist or counselor and seek professional help.

                   “Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, ‘I feel so low that instead of picking myself up, I have to cut others down’”

                                                         -Pope Francis-

References

1. Hewitt, John P. (2009). Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology. Oxford University Press. pp. 217–224. ISBN 978-0-19-518724-3.
2. Baumeister, R. F.; Campbell, J. D.; Krueger, J. I.; Vohs, K. D. (2003). “Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?”. Psychological Science in the Public Interest. 4 (1): 1–44. ISSN 1529-006. PMID 26151640. doi:10.1111/1529-1006.01431.