The Superpower that Changes by the Hour

If I had a superpower, it would probably be something to do with the ability to read fifty children’s books aloud, without my voice cracking and without growing weary in the least. I might also have a power related to eating muffins. Come to think of it, I think my superpowers vary by the day. And so do the boy’s.

In the ever-changing, versatile art of homeschooling, the boy’s superpowers change by the hour. We started the day out with:

The Superpower of Distraction

Really, it is a thing. It takes skill to be so easily distracted and to so easily distract others. There we were, sitting at the dining room table, math text in front of him. He had two pages to complete of problems we were both confident he could handle in about ten minutes—but then the superpower stepped in.

First, there were toy trucks present in the room - total rookie teacher mistake. Then it was the pencil. It just would not stay on the table. The rug seemed to turn into a pencil swallowing jungle that required a minimum of two minutes for every single pencil retrieval.

“Carpenter pencil,” my husband said in passing on the way to the fridge, “He needs a flat carpenter pencil.”

“No,” I said, irritable slapping a metal can with fifty sharpened pencils in it down onto the table. “He needs these.”

An image of peaceful tot thoughts, until...distraction.

Once the pencil dilemma was resolved, he decided to really flex his distraction muscles by calling out to his peacefully playing little sister one simple phrase guaranteed to cause chaos: “Bad Baby.” Nothing insults a tot more. Her eyes filled with fury as she shouted back “I’m not a bad baby!” It was then that I realized that his distraction had been distracting me for the last twenty minutes. Enough was enough.

“That’s it! I am setting the timer! Five minutes! You have five minutes!”

What-do-you-know, the boy finished in three.

The Superpower of Salesmanship

The boy has been earning twenty-five cents a day doing chores, which can then be spent on our Saturday yard sale excursions. The knowledge of a good bargain—a fifty cent toy truck with trailer, a twenty-five cent toy Ferrari with only one door missing—has been seeping into his brain over the last few weeks.

This morning all that knowledge came together, and it formed a new superpower. Suddenly “Yard Sale Today” signs appeared around the house. Toys covered up all the available space on the couch. An “open” or “closed” sign, depending on which word was crossed through, was taped to a stuffed rabbit’s nose and set on the arm of the loveseat.

“Are you coming to my yard sale?” He wanted to know, so I did.

“What do you want for that building set?” I said as I shuffled through my imaginary wallet.

“Eight dollars.”

“Eight dollars! We both know that thing doesn’t work very well,” and so the negotiations began.

Ultimately, I think the boy took me for a ride. He’s good.

The Superpower of Baking

The boy set to work making chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. I felt confident. He’s been baking with me every day this month. Just a few nights ago he managed muffins on his own, and he only smeared muffin batter across half of the kitchen. Truth be told, I felt confident and lazy. It had been a long day and I wanted to get off my feet.

Some minutes later I came by to check on him and there he was stirring away a flour mixture in a large bowl. “How’s it going?” I asked.

“It doesn’t say how long to mix!” The boy looked very frustrated. I looked down at the very thoroughly combined dry ingredients he had been laboring over and restrained a laugh.

I’m not sure how much longer he would have gone on stirring for, but I get the feeling there may have been muscle fatigue.

He continued on with the recipe, and blew me away at how his five-year-old self understands how to measure out 3/4 cup of flour, and 2/3 cup of butter. He leveled off his teaspoons of baking soda.

Donald Duck and cookie dough.

He was a superhero of the kitchen, zooming around in a cloud of flour and butter drippings. My homeschooling heart was proud.

And now the superhero is in bed. I am sitting here feeling the wind change, and a new superpower coming over me. I think it has to do with sleep.