The first one - an original poem

                             

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You were the first I ever loved...

With my heart and soul I gave you everything...

You treated me as if I was the one

And kept me under your protective wing

We had it all ... we gave it all that we could give

Until your mind started wandering and I wasn't enough anymore!

I held on still... but you let go in the night like a thief....

You left an open wound so sore....so deeply sore

I could not breath for months...for years

I was hyperventilating  and could see no end to my tears

Day in day out I was trying to glue back together 

this fragile heart of mine torn into little pieces forever

I started rebuilding the little blocks like a lego puzzle

Into the shape of some kind of heart

And I thought that I could live again....

That we could survive apart

But my heart will never be the same again...

I've tried to love again and I can't, 

Cause  you've cursed me!!!!

 and I still feel the want

Every single painful day of my life...

Because our souls have met...

and  your'e not like the others to me

We moved on to fight our own battles and to see

If we can survive on our own...

but we both kept on wondering

What would have happened if you had stayed?

I would take you now with open arms

To fill that void and to close that hole in me...

I love you still and I think forever will...

Did you even love me a little? 

Why do you still contact me in my dreams

and remind me of the pain with all your means

Why don't you just leave me alone ???

Like you did so many years ago

You chose to leave me

And be on your own!!!!!!

But you are always there ...

Somewhere...

 with all your lies to your beloved wife 

And the pain still cuts me like a sharpened knife

I still feel the pain of that dreadful day

And I still can't find you or hide you away....

It's been many years since I've seen you...felt you...

When you broke my soul in two..

26 years to be exact 

and then you rise from the dead to contact me!!!!!!

after all this time...

my pose is no longer intact

You told me that you made a mistake?????

What the fuck is wrong with you???

My heart broke again and again 

Don't you realize your wife has feelings too??????

You will give her up for me????

Sorry sir...I now physically belong to another

but my soul will always belong to you

Maybe one day we can be together 

Right as it should be

But we will have to die first 

To intertwine our souls again like it used to be....