bad half

created in paint

Hello friends, I wrote to you last time on my worst day without a doubt. In fact, I asked God for help, and my brother, whom I hadn't seen for more than 5 years, came, and it was something that did my soul good.

My wife is 10 km away from me. I don't know her phone number, and she knows mine. After 60 days, I don't think she's very worried about me. The thing is, I understand this, but my heart doesn't. I dream that we're happy together, and I wake up crying. I tried to keep myself busy. But my body is already damaged from so much crying. I feel different, like I'm all broken. It has left destructive consequences in my flesh. My face has transformed from a positive person; now I can't laugh, I can't listen to music.

I thought today that this should be my starting over to become a person of value again, changing habits and customs. Our religion doesn't allow divorce without cause of adultery, only separation due to violence, failure to maintain the family, or depriving them of freely serving God. So I couldn't work during my recovery, and it's very little money that I could contribute. Besides, I started smoking in secret, and this is something she can't stand for two reasons: because it disgusts her and because spending the little money you have on cigarettes while she paid for everything. It seems to me that she has already grieved the relationship.

I'm grieving with her 10 km away, and it's a real 10 km because there's no communication of any kind. She knows people to contact me, and I talk to her brother, the rich brother who sheltered her. And he doesn't answer any of my messages. So why is it that I can't consider it over even though we're still married?

I live with immense pain every day because I ask God for help time and time again, and He always sends someone after I pray. So this comforts me, but God knows that my pain is very great, that's why He sends people in emergency to take care of me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to recover. I think this ends my life, and that's why I'm trying to make a new life, but I start thinking about her again, and that's not healthy for me anymore. If I don't cut it off, I think I'm going to go crazy.

She tore my heart out and won't give it back. I'm exhausted from crying so much. What kind of person leaves after almost 30 years without saying a word? Maybe she said everything, and I never listened. I hope this text helps me understand and give it the final ending, no longer expecting anything to come from there. Writing these words hurt me so much. And she doesn't know I'm like this, or she doesn't care. Well, I'm going to die and come back. I think I'm going to love you forever, or nothing will ever be the same after you. They believe that a man can be so sensitive that he believes himself to be a victim when he himself does this.I no longer believe that I have lost faith in myself by writing these ideas that arise that it is a story that will never return, but I will wait for it very gallantly for a long time because life is life and maybe one day I will feel that we can return to start

See you soon, it's good to be able to unload in this place, since no one cares

The only photo I have left of her because one day I deleted all of them.what do they see in the face