Possible pointers that that friendship is poisonous

The concept called friendship comes many a times with a lot of dangers but we hardly see hardly see through because its all coated with the word “friendship”. Surely, we are social and we get lonely without someone but one of the main things we should be striving to find is a friendship that isn’t actually eating you up on the inside.

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Eating you up on the inside! By that I meant poisoning you and all you are made up of and even posing a threat to your overall well being

Firstly, One of the facts we should and must put into consideration is that people are different. Just the same way our finger prints will and can never be the same, our characters and make ups will totally differ in some areas on life. So having that at the back of our minds, we know that no two persons can be the same. When a friendship starts to mould you into something you are not.. it’s most definitely time to jump ship. There are a few exceptions here and that is if that friendship is actually changing you for the better. When a friendship starts making you want to copy certain bad habits of your friend, that friendship is poisonous and its time to jump ship. There’s an adage popular in the Yoruba tribe in Nigeria “Agutan to ba ba aja rin, a je igbe” meaning “ A sheep that follows a dog around will eat poo.”

Secondly, If all you do in that friendship is just talk about baseless things without any actual sensible discussions or plans about the future, that friendship is only wasting your time. I used to have a friend who visits me as early as 7am in the morning and leaves at 12pm almost daily. What this guy does all the time is complain about how life isn’t going on for him and how money is scarce. He talks about a lot of plans but never got around working towards one of the plans. I slowly drifted far away from him… his friendship was adding nothing to my life and I had enough. A friendship that thrives on baseless conversations is a no no. Jump ship.

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Also, Beautifully, God has put somethings in place to warn us of some toxic friendships or even relationships. And one of those warning tools are past bad behavior. Ask any woman whose husband beats her, she will likely reveal to you that her husband might have slapped her once when they were courting. That was a warning she didn’t heed to before she took the long ride into marriage. Friendships come like that to….. if you friend is toxic, you would have had a lot of warnings. It could be betrayal of trust, stealing, gossiping or even carelessness. We always have warnings.

Lastly since I don’t want to talk much. A friendship that you can’t delegate a reasonable amount of trust into is headed for the rocks. A friend you can’t trust to an extent should not be even called a friend. Friendships run on trust. At least you can’t trust a person 100% since humans are unpredictable but whoever you should call a friend, you should be able to trust him/her to an extent. When you can’t be open to tell a friend about something you are going into or when you hesitate to, you most likely don’t trust the person and the best thing to do is jump ship and run. There’s a reason you can’t trust that person and its probably because of the poison in the person. Spend your time with better people instead.

#CONCLUSION

Having friends is something we can’t run from unless we want to die of loneliness like alpacas. However, we should endeavour to have friendships that wouldn’t poison our mind, thoughts, actions and self. I guess that why some really smart people have very few friends. Not everyone is fit to be called your friend and not every one can be an acquaintance.

Thanks for stopping by and reading.

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Written by @stephenevets, Edited and posted by @camzy

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