Farmpunk Contest 2019-1 Winner (and a call for a new one)

Sometimes, an idea is so good it's bad. Other times, it's such a bad idea it makes bad ideas look good. And yet, other times, they look good enough on paper that they turn bad by the time the good comes out of them.

If you can understand that mumbo-jumbo, you can explain it to us later. For now, we've got an impotent announcement to make.

Public domain.

10 days ago, we announced the first farmpunk contest of 2019. The theme was roasting @quillfire, who needed a roasting more than any other creature in the historical annals of earthly and heavenly gardens combined. That wasn't a bad idea, but we had one potential entrant to our contest bow out because she had no flint for the fire. We promised @calluna a raincheck, and we sincerely hope she cashes it.

We have no idea how many other people refrained from submitting to the contest due to no flint for Quillfire. But it's quite possible that a little faux pas of another kind may have inhibited some entries. We failed to announce a deadline date on the initial contest publication announcement (we love adjectives, te hee). When we realized it, thanks to @manoldonchev and @simonpennon for pointing it out to us, we quickly corrected it. Alas, it may have been too late.

As a result of these negative inhibitors, we received only one serious entry to the contest. Now, we'd love to renege and extend the deadline and him-haw around until our breeches freeze, but we'd hate to besmirch our honor and piss on our patrons. Therefore ...

Here's what we aim to do ...

We're going to award the 5 Steem Basic Income prize to the one serious entrant for at least following the rules and being brave to enough to submit to our whacky idea of a contest.

Who Is That Mysterious Wiener?

Serious fiction writer @wales submitted a story titled "Lost through an open window." If I'm not mistaken, it was a #powerhousecreatives contest entry, but that's okay. Nothing in our rules said he couldn't do that.

While this story is an incredible read, we didn't see anything in it that we'd call farmpunk, and it didn't have but a mere mention of anything progressively technological. I suppose you could stretch the definition of "speculative" fiction and put it in that category, but since we had no other stories to read in order to make a real judgment, we're going to call @wales the winner. His story was well-written, well-told, and deserves at least as much honor as a garden gnome can give it.

Congratulations @wales! Your SBI shares are on the way.

What The Frackety-Frack is Farmpunk, Anyway?

Let's just say a friend of ours created this genre out of thin air (and he didn't even have to climb a mountain). Perhaps the best way to describe farmpunk is to take a can of #cyberpunk and put it on a farm. Even then, we're a little short of the perfect definition because it doesn't really have to take place on a farm.

So take your punk, mix it with equal parts of farm culture, and throw in an equal part of high technology. Advanced technology. Futuristic, progressive technology. Each of these elements should be readily apparent in the storyline and add flavor to the overall story arc. There's the main idea.

Say what? What's that? You'd like a sample?

You folks are always asking for more. Good thing we garden gnomes like giving more. Okay, just for twisting our arm, we'll provide a few samples. Here ya go:

• Altland's Gambit (ain't no chess playin' in this gig)
• Racioppa's Revenge
• The Rusty Robot (farmpunk contest #2 winner)
• The Strawfolk (farmpunk contest #4 winner)

So now that you know, let's get the next one rolling. We're giving you two weeks from tonight to get your stories in. Deadline: March 14, 2019.

Theme: In honor of that great date following the deadline, let's call this contest The Ides of March.

As you likely know from your history, The Ides of March marks the day that Julius Caesar was assassinated. The date was March 15, 44 BC. But, for the purpose of this contest, you can interpret the Ides of March as broadly as possible within the framework of this Wikipedia entry. That's provided, of course, you keep it grounded in farmpunk ethos:

• Farm culture
• High Technology
• Punk attitude

If you want to have some farmer plot the assassination of the nearest town's mayor, so be it. If you want some banker to call on the deacon of the local church to settle a debt only to find trouble at the local monster truck pit owned by the deacon's older brother, okay with us. Or if you have a pagan group of Jupiter worshipers stealing goats and cattle for midnight sacrifices, cool. Just make it stand up to the farmpunk test.

Get your stories written and posted to your Steemit blog no later than two weeks from now. Then come here and post a link to your story. Be sure to tag your story #farmpunk. Word limit = 1,000 to 3,000 words.

The winner will receive 3 SBI shares.

That's it in a nutjob shell. See you in the comments.

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