You know you have hit rock bottom when....

in #life7 years ago (edited)

Today I realized that I have pretty much hit rock-bottom. After spending 2 hours watching my clothes going around and around in a washer and dryer that is not mine, in a place that I have never really had to experience till my early thirties, I have become totally disgusted with the reality my life has become. Though I do not think I am superior to anyone, I am pretty sure the majority of all the other patrons of the laundromat were from the trailer park which it was attached too, so in a way I was thankful for the fact that I have not reached the level of living in a trailer yet. Nevertheless, l feel as if I do not do something quick, I will end up making my visit's to the laundromat a weekly routine.

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Though I am not one to judge, maybe I would find a solemn decadency in trailer park life. Maybe all of this time, I have only been lying to myself. Maybe deep down this type of life style is all I deserve. It seems like a much simpler way of life. I remember just last year, It use to take me around $7000/month just to pay my bills, I am pretty sure if I made my way to the trailer park, I could cut this down to $700. Its not like I can become anymore of an embarrassment to my friends and family than I have already become. I have failed, I have lost, I might as well just concede to trailer park life.

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There's nothing wrong with living in a trailer. In big cities and in plenty of other places, people use laundromats. Don't fret. You are worth more than your bank account.

I agree, but when you have been up so high, its much harder to find meaning when you find yourself at the bottom again. I worked so hard to shake the chains of poverty I experienced as a child, only to end up there again at age 31.

I see. Just try to keep truckin'. Use the resourcefulness being poor gave you (I know all about it) and you'll turn things around. Good luck.

I'm trying, hopefully something clicks sooner than later. I wont quit, I know that's for sure

Well, I'm 45 - my house was foreclosed, two cars repoed, money seized (thank you New York State), and was nearly homeless - unless you consider motel living for 2+ weeks homeless. We needed a home quick and I live in a trailer park. A pretty shitty one where I have to keep my food in the fridge or the cooler or the rats & roaches get them. (I am not a dirty person but I am losing the war with these little bastards). And I go to the laundromat too because I lost everything in my storage unit because I needed a car more than my stuff. So... yeah... Shit happens. I'm working my way out of this situation and saving money for long-term reward. How about you?

My dilemma is that everything I worked for was stolen from me by someone that was almost like a mother to me growing up. I didn't do drugs or get drunk and lose my job, it was all literally stolen from me and I have been fighting in the courts to get it back for years now, but seeing I am fighting a criminal lawyer, this person knows every tactic in world to delay and keep herself out of jail and doesn't care that she is killing me in the process. In fact she is hoping that I kill myself so she can walk away scott free. But I wont let that happen, I rather eat up ever cent in court and end up living out of my CRV. So you ask me what I am doing, I am fighting for my life. I am sorry to hear that you life has taken such a drastic turn though.

P.S this isn't anything to do with a divorce, this is a lawyer who went AWOL and stole everything she was holding in trust for me and a bunch of her other clients.

Don't feel bad, when I was a kid I lived in an abandoned car for a few weeks with another friend. Times can get really bad and its much more dangerous when you are 15. Who knows who is really friend or foe at that point.

Just a bump in the road we all have faced.
There have been times I have asked GOD why am I here and what is my purpose . We all have. A purpose and we all are giving the strength to over come, past the dark clouds and find that happiness whether it be self motivation, a new love, or something as little of letting go and start a new adventure...don't worry things get better and dark clouds disappear.

For all the things I have been through I should be able to move mountains by now, but for some reason I feel more weak than ever. Nevertheless, I wont give up, that's just not me. Thank you for the kind words!

Look at it in a different way...and you can end up empowering yourself with this challenge.
For example if you were ordered to climb mount Everest you will find it a huge task and each difficulty will seem like a burden.
But if you were to decide to climb it out of choice you will face it all with a determination and will that will actually make you happy.

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