Sonic Arcade Games - Every Gamer Review

The amount of Sonic games are overwhelming, for better or worse. I've played the main games and some other guff. But now it's time to go to more obscure territories for this franchise, in more ways than one. I'm talking Arcade titles, and when I mean Arcade titles, I mean ones I can emulate using MAME, and there's about four with one of them actually worth a legitimate (sort of) review.

To start off, we have Waku Waku Sonic Patrol Car (わくわくソニックパトカー), developed and published by Sega and was released in 1991 in Japan.

The game is in Japanese, including text and speech from both Sonic and Dr. Eggman.

Sonic is a Police Officer patrolling the streets with his Police car, you can accelerate, turbo left and right and all that jazz. During your time bumping into cars (which doesn't penalise you for doing this by the way), you stop to let Sonic's animal friends cross the road before driving on. Then Dr. Eggman is causing havoc on the road so you can bump him numberous times...or not, Eggman gets away and Sonic goes back to the Police Station and I guess thanks me for my virtual money but jokes on him, this is MAME ya son of a bitch.

Now this isn't technically a game, it's one of those kiddie rides you'd see in shopping centres or malls, something for children to have fun for five minutes, you don't lose, you win, you win all the time. This is going to be a pattern for the next two so-called games.

The game lasts about 2 minutes and it comes and goes in a flash, but it was for kids, I would have bloody loved playing this when I was five because Sonic...although I knew nothing about Sonic until much later.

Oh, one last thing, there's an off panel comic from Sonic the Hedgehog #288-#290 based on this game, and Sonic tells, “Hey, don't you know there's a Speed Limit? Ya gotta go slow!”. And as I said on Twitter, Sonic telling someone that they "gotta go slow" is like Mario telling someone to NOT jump on a Goomba, it's absolutely jarring.

Oh, and if you get five stars, this happens!

Anyway, onto the next game, SegaSonic Cosmo Fighter (セガソニック・コスモ・ファイター) (or SegaSonic Cosmo Fighter Galaxy Patrol), released in 1993, also in Japan.

Dr Eggman has kidnapped animals...IN SPAAAAAACE! And Sonic has to save them whilst riding on his spaceship.

At the very least, this one feels like a proper game as we have a rather simple top-down shoot 'em up where you gun down bombs and obstacles launched by Eggman, then you fight Eggman...and that's it, you get ranked and it seems there's no cocaine face.

And despite getting hit yourself, you can't lose, you win either way...but again, it's for kids, it was another kiddie ride so...

Hmm, I'm thinking about going to the cinema but I want Sonic to give me popcorn. Not to worry, there's a machine for that...for some reason.

SegaSonic Popcorn Shop (セガソニック ポップコーンショップ), the software was developed by Sega AM1 and the vending machine was created by Sega Mechatro, it was also released in 1993 in Japan.

This isn't a game by technicality, you press one of three buttons, these are the choice of popcorn flavours - salted, butter or curry...because Japan...oh, it seems curry popcorn is a thing worldwide...well don't I feel like an arsehole.

Anyway, Sonic and Tails are preparing the popcorn but Eggman tries to screw it up as he starts chasing Sonic, the only controls is a crank so you use that to help Sonic get to the other end of the machine. Upon arrival, the corn is being popped but Eggman keeps eating the popcorn the fat git, and you twist the crank once more to burn Eggman and hey presto, the popcorn is done.

Vending machines are a necessity in Japan, from food and drink, to used women's panties...I'm not kidding, but expect the unexpected either way.

And now onto the feature presentation, the reason I was supposed to review this before I realised that taking a look at some other Arcade titles would be great filler.

SegaSonic the Hedgehog (セガソニック・ザ・ヘッジホッグ), released in 1993 in Japan only.

The game stars Sonic the Hedgehog, Mighty the Armadillo, and Ray the Flying Squirrel, a trio in which one of the two will ever get remembered. Anyway, all three are captured by Dr. Eggman and they send them to Eggman Island, Eggman's home base. Sonic and friends have to escape the island whilst surviving Eggman's deadly traps.

Now this is a proper game here. This is an isometric platform game as you run through seven levels. Volcanic Vault is the fire level, Icy Isle is the ice level, Desert Dodge is the desert level, Trap Tower is “run away from the thing” level, Landslide Limbo is the mountain-type level where everything falls apart, Wild Water Way is the water level, and Eggman's Tower is the final level.

The game is rather simple, just avoid obstacles and whatever the game throws at you. Rings are used to refill your health bar.

Now on to the 'hard to explain' bit. You see, you control one of the characters using a trackball and a button to jump. And for some reason, this is the sole reason why this never got a console port, with a cancelled Sega 32X port. In fact, this was supposed to be released as part of the Sonic Gems Collection, but the developers didn't know how to convert trackball controls to a normal controller. With that said, may I refer you to Marble Madness and it's trackball-less ports. Yeah, no excuse here. At this point, I don't think we'll ever see a re-release of this game for the time being, not even Sonic R will get another chance.

In terms of actually trying to control this game is very awkward. When playing MAME, I use a PS4 controller, but the trackball controls don't work properly on said controller. My strange solution was to use the arrow keys on my keyboard for movement and Square on my PS4 controller and it's tolerable, so at the very least I could get to the end with a strict time limit...no I can't, that's a strict time limit.

The graphics are pretty good, the level design is quite cool, the music is...meh.

I can't properly review it since trying to play it was as different as playing it originally. But even if I did, it's just decent at most. As an Arcade title, I wouldn't call it great, just OK.

But at the very least, Mighty and Ray have gotten another chance in returning thanks to the upcoming Sonic Mania Plus, where they're playable characters. And since it's a physical copy, I'm getting that for either the PlayStation 4 or the Nintendo Switch...but more likely the PS4.

If you can find the arcade machines for these games, please let everyone know and we can be envious together...nah, just kidding...