So then now, now then, let's see how the fourth and final quarter-final will pan out:

We have an old man in his eighties (yeah, I had to google that, too) racing against a vampire hunter for the last place on the last rescue boat of the Titanic.

I know ... the outcome here is pretty obvious actually.

As we all know and as disaster evacuation expert Ed Galea will confirm^[1], the saying goes: "help the most vulnerable to leave the scene first, likely to be the injured, elderly and young children."

So, of course, that last spot on that rescue boat was being held for Caern... or was it?

THE MATCH:

Caern probably never even bothered getting up from his bunk when he first heard the dull noise of an impact and the panic which had broken out since then. He was old already, being 88 is no joke, and he was way too lazy to bother.

He pulled out his Dagger of truth to let the blade sing to him. A faint sinusoidal whistle relayed a message that only he could understand.

He got up calmly, sheathed his dagger and slumped to the door. The dagger had told him about the glacial mass that had struck the ships hull and about the disastrous fate that was going to play out. Caern had also learned that the oldest male survivor of the disaster would be George Harris^[2], age 62, and Caern understood what that meant.

He slowly made his way to the ship's bow where he was going to stand straight and formidably to embrace his eternal rest in the cold waters.

He was surrounded by all the passengers running back and forth in panic, screaming and making a racket, when he suddenly heard a familiar voice: "Oh I am so sorry m'am I din't mean to be in your way. Ah, uh, excuse me sir, no I'm terribly sorry, I do not know which way the lifeboats are"

It was Droopy, the vampire hunter, Cearn recognised him immediately, there's only one guy who would bother being all apologetic even when they had to be afraid for their life.

Caern shouted: "Droopy, come here!". Droopy looked up and said: "Oh Caern, I am so sorry I didn't know you were here!". He carefully manoeuvred himself up along the railing to catch up with Caern.

"Listen, Droopy, the last collapsible life boat is going to be washed out to sea from the starboard side^[3]. You need to get there NOW"

Droopy didn't think twice. He was unstoppable after all, and that's how he even survived the disastrous fate of the Titanic.

The Epilogue:

The attentive reader might have noticed that Droopy's artefact didn't get mentioned in the main plot, well, the story isn't quite over yet.

Droopy was a broken man after the incident. He had to apologise for surviving the very disaster that cost his fellow Vagabond Caern's life, but who was there to apologize to? Caern was gone! The pain grew within Droopy, and the pain grew into anger. He had to take revenge.

He equipped his magical gauntlets and sailed back into the arctic sea. This was an iceberg's fault after all. Droopy was determined to eradicate the evil of frozen water once and for all.

He fought his way to the north pole where he delivered a fracturing punch to the eternal cold that reigned for eons.

Yeah, that's how global warming started!