别再养儿防老了 Be a free old man, should you?

在近现代的东方国度里，人们养儿育女除了抱着繁衍后代香火有续的使命，养儿防老恐怕是另一大因素。这样的思想在华人世界里尤其严重。父母一辈子劳劳碌碌含辛茹苦的把孩儿拉扯大，心中最大的寄望除了让他们出人头地，就是希望在自己垂垂老矣的时候他们能够知恩回哺。这在某种角度上，养育孩子变成了一种投资，你期望资产成熟时能产生回报，犹如稻田丰收之时的驾着收割机的农人。

这听起来虽然把温馨的亲子关系弄得似乎很势利，但要是父母养儿就只是为了防老，这难道不算是势利？

千万别误会我的意思

做人嘛，孝顺必须是当居首位的。我反对的是养儿防老，却也坚信供养父母是人的天职。
我父母亲就是典型的上一代人。他们受教育的程度并不高，早早出来社会打工，形形色色的工作都应付过。凭着上一代人淳朴辛勤的本质，虽然没有大富大贵，也足以让我们一家五口的小康之家不缺温饱。我们能够茁壮成长绝对离不开他们那么多年的无私付出。就拿我爸来说吧，作为家里长期的经济支柱，他把自己的退休资金全都放在了家里唯一的屋子的首付，为的就是自己百年以后儿女们能不用那么辛苦的还贷。经济上可说是毫无保留，不给自己留后路了。

他们拥有的也许不多，却绝对无条件的把一切奉献在孩子身上。对于这一切我是印象深刻的，也是无以为报的，唯有尽孝！

别指望他人自己的下半辈子

西方的自由主义在这方面很值得借鉴。父母把孩子带到这个世界上，努力的教育培养他，就是为了能让他能有自主的思想，成为独立的个体。老子有多少房产，多少钱财都不关儿子事。花光了也无愧于子孙，因为他们把你养育成人之后就不再欠你什么。相对的，父母也不该认为儿子的赡养是天经地义的。如果儿女在社会混得好，又懂得知恩图报，自然会供养年老的父母，皆大欢喜；但要是他们自己生活都成问题，又或是进化成自私自利的白眼狼，乏人照料的父母将会是新的社会问题，这类新闻在报上屡见不鲜。

低级阶层里不难发现很多文化程度不高的父母亲，自己一辈子碌碌无为不求上进，却养着成群的儿女，指望着他们以后成龙成凤，“以后就有好日子过了”，然而却不肯在教育上狠下功夫，任由他们天生天养。孩子们在这般条件缺乏的环境下成长，能自立而不啃老已经是万幸了。现代人不该再有养儿防老这般落后的思想。

做个自由的老人

人们从年轻开始，就应该努力赚钱，永远不要让开支超过收入，然后将剩下的储蓄投资。周而复始，自然能拥有一笔可观的财富。而因为拥有健康的理财观念，对未来各种未知的状况风险都要进行适当的评估，从而投资保险和退休计划。贯彻老了也不需要靠人养的生活态度，相信是对年老时的尊严的一种保证。

不奢望成为富甲天下的壮年，但望年老时可以独善其身吧！

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In the modern oriental countries, one of the reasons people raising children is probably for the purpose of being looked after in their old age. This thought is particularly serious in the Chinese circle. Parents work hard to bring up the children, apart from hoping for them to succeed in their own life, that is, hope that the children can be grateful to feed back the parents when they are old. In some way, raising a child become an investment, you expect the assets to be able to produce a return on maturity.

Oh did I make the warm parent-child relationship sounds snobbish? It is snobbish if the parents raise the children in the expectation of return.

But don't get me wrong

Well, we must be grateful to our parents. Without a single doubt, I believe that it is our born responsibility to support our parents.
My parents are typical of the older generation. They are not highly educated, started working at a very young age in all kinds of work. With the hard-working essence of the previous generation, my parents provided me a great family without shortage of food and clothing. I'm able to grow up healthily under their selfless contribution of years. They may not have much, but absolutely unconditionally put all the dedication to the family. Take my dad for an example, he used up all his retirement fund for the down payment of our only house, just for the sake of the children can live better with the mortgage when he is no longer with us. Financially he gave us all he had, and keep his way closed for a retreat.

I'm speechlessly thankful for all of these and hopefully can repay them in every way I can.

Control the rest of your life

Western liberalism is worth learning in this aspect. Parents bring the child to this world and strive to cultivate him, that is, in order to let him have the idea of independent thinking, and eventually become an independent individual.
How many houses or money does the father own is not related to the son. The father is unashamed even he decided to spend it all and don't leave a cent for the son. He owes his grown up son absolutely nothing. Relatively, parents shouldn't take the support from their child as granted. If they are doing well and being grateful to their parent, that would be a happy ending. On the contrary, if they already struggling to make a living themselves, the unattended aged parents will be a social problem. This is not an uncommon news on daily basis.

In the lower social class, it is not hard to see many of the poorly educated parents, they live a lowly life due to their mediocre inaction but raising a horde of children in the hope of their children can bring a better day for them. On the other hand, they aren't willing to invest in the child's education, letting them grow up 'naturally". The truth is chances are slim for the children to succeed in the society under such an ill-upbringing.

Be a free old man

Young people should strive to make money, never spend beyond the mean, and invest the difference. Considerable wealth is not far away if the said process is repeated again and again. At the same time you will have to access the risks and unknowns of future, thereby invest wisely in the insurance and retirement plans. With the right mind of not relying on anybody at any stage of your life, dignity at the old age can, therefore, be guaranteed.

I don't wish to be rich and take care of the world, but to go well with myself when I'm old.

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