Finally, Fiction! (Still Under Construction).
“Do we really have to do this, again?” the boys chuckled as Raymond stomped his feet as they walked up the stairs leading into the building that houses what has now become the most irrelevant chapter in their story.
The scent of the paint on the rail could still be perceived. It had become a tradition to beautify the school before the start of every academic year, with some people in authority believing that this would help get the kids more interested in whatever it is that goes on within its walls. Scattered around the hallway were the smiling faces and happy frames of kids chattering away with no sign of any of the events of the previous week. It felt like the first day of school with a lot of catching up to be done and it seemed nobody was willing to waste any time.
Andre had a bright smile on his face. He could forget to have his hair cut or wear his socks but he always had the smile on. He jumped a few steps ahead of the other boys and with his hands wide apart, he giggled. “If you’re asking if we really need to add this part to our story, the answer is a very big yes!”
The other boys exchanged glances and shook their head in unison.
“C’mon guys, of course I know what he means” Andre began his long journey to redeeming himself, “and yeah, the answer is still a yes. School is not a very nice place to be but it still has its perks, you know?”
“Well I, for one, get to see you guys again and that’s super…”
“Cool?” Andre interjected.
“Nah!” Zeb gave him the look and continued “it is super amazing. You won’t believe how much work I had to do last weekend. I don’t know about you guys but visiting my grandparents is never fun.”
“There goes our first perk! School isn’t such a bad place after all, although I feel bad for you bro.”
Zeb arched his eyebrows in a way that made his eyeballs look bigger than they normally were. “How? Why?” Zeb asked.
“I mean, you’re going from loads of work during the weekend to loads of school work. That’s pretty sad”
“Drop it already Andre! It’s not like you had that much fun either,” Raymond cut in before noticing the awfully quiet frame of Tola. “Why so quiet pretty boy?”
“I don’t know. I just feel the days of our endless fun and carefree attitude will be over soon. This is our final term in high school and soon, we’ll be thrown into the real world and from all that happened this past month, you know the real world is no fun.”
“Hah!” Andre giggled again. “The real world? You’re beginning to sound just like Mrs. Williams, you know?”
“C’mon bro, we are going to be 18 soon. That’s a whole lot of fun ahead of us. We get passes to everywhere we’ve always wanted to go, like the Haft! You remember yeah? We only need to stick to our plans and we’ll be fine.”
“That’s what you think, Zeb. It’s a lot easier to say.”
“Oh? Wait a minute” Andre stopped walking and turned around to face the boys, “where is all these coming from huh?”
Tola slowly scanned the entire length of the hallway as though he was looking for someone before returning his gaze to the three boys who by now had their eyes fixed very much on him. With the look on their faces, Tola realized they wanted an answer and were more than ready to wait. He took in a deep breath. “From someplace very deep Andre.” Then he chuckled, patting him on the back, “You know I’ve always been the deep thinker here.”
The boys were quiet, none of them understood why Tola was acting the way he was and to them, it was strange. It took the ringing of the bell to breakup their silence and the endless chatter that had been going on around them. The students scattered in all directions, trying to make it into class before the doors got locked.
Lateness was strongly frowned upon at Beanbra High and there was no hiding this fact. The doors were automated, opening and closing at specific times only. It could have easily been a way to show off the technological prowess of the city of Beanbra but the school authorities claimed it was to ensure that the students got the best from the school. The reputation was there, winning national and international competitions and awards, Beanbra High was the dream of kids from all over the country. Being in Beanbra High was also an opportunity to live and experience the beautiful city of Beanbra.
The school’s curriculum was different from that of other schools in the country. Students were exposed to concepts rather than subjects thus making it possible for a high school student like Andre to major in design. Zeb and Raymond were science majors, and Tola was in the Arts class. Zeb had always had problems with his science classes and although some of his teachers had asked him to consider switching to other majors, he decided against giving up. The Art subjects were his forte but he couldn’t see himself going to school to learn the skills he already had in built in him.
Time seemed not to be eager to move as the day dragged on slowly and so it was a big relief when lunch break came to the rescue. As the second most exciting period in school, it was a chance to get away from all the classroom chaos. The boys were finally able to reunite after what seemed like eternity. The activities so far seemed to have drained them of all the energy they had, well except Tola that seemed to be the exact opposite of who he was earlier in the day. He was full of life, smiling broadly and skipping as he approached the other boys.
Ssssshhh! You read it first here.
This is a project I've been working on for a while but haven't really had time for. I've written a lot more than this part but put out what I feel is just enough to keep me on my toes.
Trust me, I've been having second thoughts on many decisions I've made in the story so far and it keeps dragging me back. Somewhere in there feels like there's too much telling going on and too little showing. Aaaarrgggghhhh!!!
My heart burns as I subject you all to the crude version of this story and I hope you all will forgive me - eventually.
To put things in context, the story seeks to explore the lives of four boys in a world where they don't have to worry about money (does that even make any sense?).
We forgive you buddie, Let's give this a title mate.......title contest?
LOL. Thank you!
I have (had) a title then took it out (because second thoughts). Wouldn't it be easier to suggest a title after the story is done? I'm blank right now.
same shoes with me bruh,many adventure stories no concrete title yet....
The style of writing looks exciting. Yeah too much of conversation and less action but why not construct an end in mind. Could help you focus and reduce back and forth corrections. Could help you decide on the body of the story.
The funny thing is that I've already written the final chapter. It was the first thing I wrote when I set out to do this. But getting from first chapter to that final one seems to be an uphill struggle.
Maybe because it's my first time though doing something on this scale.
And this is what I've been waiting for :) When you say they don't have to worry about money, is this because they're well-off? As in they're 'privileged' because their families have money?
I'm going to jump over to chat, but here I'll say I like the way you put that with Zeb-that he was sticking with learning science because he struggled with it, whereas art coming naturally to him gave him no reason to pursue it in a classroom. I totally agree with that idea, and actually am almost against formal training in creative areas when someone has natural ability, it can destroy someone's unique voice.
Haha!
Basically, everyone in Beanbra is pretty comfortable with all the basic needs met. It's set in the future but not a very distant future.
There's the concept of basic wage and cryptocurrency in the background of the story and I know I shouldn't start explaining this to the reader but instead allow them to find it out themselves.
Really? You don't think that was too much "lecturing"?
It depends on the idea behind it. I like it if he's making the choice for himself, and I definitely like that he's not tainting his art with 'cookie cutter' classes.
This is a nice return to form. It's great that you've returned to writing fiction, you were sorely missed, brother! Definitely interesting setup. I like the dynamic that you've put up with the boys. Excited to see where you will take this story!
I'm happy to be back 😀
So are you saying it wasn't too much work to read this? I apologized in the post because I assumed it would bore everyone to death 😔
It's fine, it's a smooth read. Don't overthink it, my friend :D