TEOTWAWKI (An Original Novel - Episode 112)
The Fourth Estate
A nurse walked in unexpectedly. I noticed that nurses seldom bothered to knock, this one was accompanied by a man. “Joshua, this is Dr. Zarba. He’s one of the resident physicians. He wants to talk to you for a few minutes,” she said.
“Thank you nurse. If we could have some privacy please?” the man asked her.
“Certainly sir. Call me if you need me,” she seemed a bit miffed. She sniffed as if something smelled bad.
“Now I, I’ve heard some strange things regarding your case and I would like for you to tell me all about it.” The man said.
“He’s wearing a wire. He’s recording everything. “Yvette said to me, “Don’t trust him. His heart rate/blood pressure, respiration, and skin conductivity are all abnormal. Notice that he’s avoiding direct eye contact? See how stiff and awkward he is? Be careful what you say. He’s a snake. Let me help you.” I supposed that talking to my invisible girlfriend would NOT be a good thing to do. I didn’t reply to her. I just nodded to the Doktor.
“Yes sir? What would you like to know?” I asked politely.
“Well son, you were impaled on a branch when you arrived. I believe that the admitting nurse’s exact words were ‘like a butterfly stuck to a cork board’.” The Dr Stood stiffly, looking past me. His hand was covering his throat in an unconsciously protective gesture. He seemed to be expecting an answer. He didn’t get any.
“Well?” he asked.
“Well what?” I replied innocently.
“Are you going to answer my question or not?” The Dr Was becoming indignant.
“You didn’t ask me a question.” I replied.
“I certainly did. Young man are you getting smart with me?” He was definitely angry.
“No sir. That wouldn’t be possible.” I replied. I could play this game too. I’d had lots of practice in high school. The doctor was startled then he became angry when he realized what I had said. He looked like he was going to explode. He glared at me then he turned and walked out of the door without saying anything more.
In a moment a different lady, not the nurse, also dressed in scrubs, entered his room. She was smiling.
“That escalated rather quickly I see.” She looked at me and smiled. I instinctively trusted her more than I’d trusted the doctor.
“I’m the real Doctor,” she said. “My name is Dr.Theresa Lull.”
“She’s clean. No wire that I can tell,” Yvette told me. “I still advise caution. Don’t go all motormouth.”
I had no intention of motor-mouthing. The bogus Dr. Zarba had spooked me. I realized now, that I was in a hostile environment , much like high school.
“You handled that perfectly” Dr. Lull told me. “Serves them right for trying to fool you.”
I said nothing. She just smiled, she hadn’t expected me to be chatty. “The news media get more annoying every day,”
She said. “He must have had major pull with the administrators to be able to do that. We have ethics boards you know. Ethics boards are very expensive to buy. They have standards that they strive to maintain. They don’t sell out to just any Tom, Dick and Harry. I wonder how much that lapse of ethics cost? I wonder if that’s what, well never mind. I’m a doctor not an administrator. How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling fine” I told her truthfully. “A little hungry.”
“They haven’t fed you?” She sounded surprised. “I’ll see that they do so right after I examine you. Take off your clothes please.” I was shocked. Take off my clothes in front of a woman?
“Ulp,” I gulped. “All of them?”
Dr. Lull smiled again. “Yes please, all but your underwear, you can leave them on for now.”
“Sissy,” Yvette giggled. “I don’t have any clothes on in front of you, you don’t seem to mind THAT too much. Turn about is fair play isn’t it? Maybe she likes boys? I certainly do.”
“Well, okay,” I said. He was trying his best to avoid looking at Yvette. She was entirely too chipper and perky for the present situation. She was making it difficult for me. I did as I was bid. I was sitting, mostly naked, in a room with a not half bad looking, older female and another younger one who was drop dead gorgeous and naked as well. I looked around for something to put in my lap. A sheet? A towel? Anything? Nope, didn’t find anything. Too late. The doctor gave me a VERY thorough examination.
“I don’t see any reason to order any more MRI’s, PET Scans or any more of the other tests. Lord knows you’ve had tests enough. You seem healthy. Remarkably so considering what you’ve been through. Every thing is normal except for the exceptionally high oxygen content in your blood. It’s much like an Andean Indian or a highly trained athlete. The only other abnormality is the record of your heart rate, it spikes rather high on occasion,” she said as she grinned. “Much like it is now. I wonder why that is.”
I knew why. Yvette had a lot to do with it I imagined. Yvette was being silly. She was wiggling and making faces at me. She was trying to make him laugh.
“You are a miracle boy,” the doctor told me. “You really should be dead. That branch actually scraped against your heart. If it had been a quarter inch over…well it wouldn’t have been good. You healed amazingly quickly. A great many of my colleagues would love to keep you locked up for the rest of your life to study. They wouldn’t admit it but they would if they could. It’s not every day someone is impaled and lives to tell about it. Our professional curiosity makes us want to know why. Do you have mutant wolverine blood?”
She looked pensive for a moment. I didn’t know if it was a serious comment.
“However,” the doctor continued. “There are other, minor details. The law for example, ethics, common decency and monetary constraints. We won’t do that.”
She signed theatrically, “What can we do? I guess we’ll just have to let you go.”
She smiled a little to mute the threat. I wasn’t sure if she was joking or serious. “You can leave tomorrow morning. We’re releasing you.”
She smiled at my reaction. “That’s another thing. I have no idea why you have a private room. A charity patient, such as yourself, is usually in a ward. You lucked out for some reason. Possibly you have an unknown benefactor?”
I was alarmed. Did she know about Yvette? It must have shown on my face. Thankfully the doctor totally misinterpreted my expression. She said “Oh don’t worry. I’m not going to turn you in. It’s probably just a computer glitch. Enough people suffer from those. I’m not going spoil it for someone who benefits. It all evens out I think.”
Yvette said “You’re welcome. I jiggered the computer system for you. I’m the new Daemon Mark III model. I come with a built in hacker suite, wi-fi and bluetooth.”
She batted her eyes at me from behind the doctor. “Wait till I show you some of my other options.”
The Doctor was blissfully unaware.
I was out to sea. I was so confused, not to say a little bit panicked. What would happen if the doctor noticed Yvette? I kept my mouth shut and didn’t say anything. I tried, very hard, to pay attention to what the doctor said. Yvette was NOT making it easy.
“Get a good meal today and don’t forget breakfast tomorrow before you leave. You’re a growing boy and you need to eat. A hunk like you, an athlete from the looks of your blood work, needs to keep up your strength. I bet you get all the girls.” The doctor looked resigned, “If I were only a few years younger, oh well. Have a nice night.”
She smiled and left.
“Kitty kitty, nice cougar.” Yvette quipped, “You get all the girls huh? Let’s go eat. You first, then me.” I blushed even redder, if that was possible. Yvette could make anything sound suggestive. I dressed and we went looking for chow.
To Be Continued
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The Hobo Picture is a Public Domain image from
Samantha at the Worlds Fair
by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
Illustrated by
Baron C. De Grimm published by
Funk and Wagnall's Company 1893
Unless noted
All other Illustrations are from
Pixabay