When life is Exhausting

When life is exhausting and doesn’t go the way we planned it to, we tend to blame external forces forgetting that we are,what we want to be.

Circumstances don’t just happen. Quite often, they are the result of the opinion we have of ourselves. Our thoughts have much more influence on our success in life than we are aware of: they drive our actions and emotions.
So it could be helpful to set the focus on the inside for a change and check if it’s us who create roadblocks:

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1. Holding on to the past
A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Unknown

Let’s face it: we all dwell on the past from time to time. That’s okay-we’re human beings with emotions. As we live life and experience it to its fullest, it’s only natural that we sometimes cling onto what once was.
But when our desire to cling to the past affects our future, we begin a potentially unhealthy and seemingly endless battle with anchors that can hold us down and sink us.

Do: Don’t regard the past as a burden or a happy time gone forever, but as a motivation to make things better and find happiness again. And, above all, forgive yourself for past mistakes. Forgiveness is necessary for self-healing.

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2. Self-doubt
“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”~William Shakespeare
Many times, we ask ourselves, if we have what it takes to succeed — especially women are prone to selling themselves short. It’s okay to challenge our actions, and learn from mistakes we’ve made. Nonetheless, when we put ourselves into question and let nagging self-doubt get under our skin, we are sabotaging our happiness.

Do: Don’t think about why you can’t, but how, and what you need in order to succeed. Doubts are a result of low self-esteem. Direct your energy towards learning to accept yourself, and appreciate what you have accomplished already. List your achievements and name everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

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3. Fear of the unknown
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown” ~H.P. Lovecraft

Life means surprises. Many people dream of shifting their life, but are too busy trying to figure out the safest way to do so. Change is only possible if we are not afraid of what might be coming. We always have a choice. Life is trial and error.

Do: It’s better to face the unknown boldly than to stay with the devil we know if this is what makes us miserable. When we are unhappy with our job, it’s natural to look for other options, but we’ll never know if the next one is going to be better unless we take the plunge.

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4. Comparing
When matching ourselves against others constantly, we run the risk of harming our wellbeing. Comparison always includes judging. If the result turns out unfavorable for us, it’s easy to think of ourselves as a failure. On top, we tend to measure our life against an unattainable ideal, and by that, we diminish our talents and accomplishments.

Do: Capitalize on who you are, and play to your strengths instead of looking for your flaws. Cherish what you have and don’t search for what’s missing. Work with what’s already there and dare be a splash of color!

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5. Lack of self-respect
My journey from the depths of self-hating, suicidal suffering into self-acceptance has taught me that self-love isn’t just a dinner mint. It’s an essential part of being a healthy, happy person and not prioritizing self-care has obvious, dangerous symptoms that are too often ignored.

Do: Turn your thoughts into your ally and not your worst enemy. When the little voice in your head starts scolding you again, change perspective: For once, talk to yourself as if you were a good friend, and be lenient.

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6. Perfectionism
Perfectionists tend to believe that anything short of perfection is horrible, and that even minor imperfections will lead to catastrophe.

Do: Do you still remember what the first mobile phone looked like or that computers with the power of a pocket calculator required an entire hallway to fit in? In the world of product development, continuous improvement is necessary and accepted.
Apply this analogy to yourself: Why would you want to live up to standards that aren’t even met by the most successful companies in the world? Accept the wonderful “product” that you are today, and embark on self-improvement without letting perfectionism harass you.

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7. Frustration
From my experience, frustration is mostly a result of disappointment, anger and hurt that haven’t been expressed. Instead of fighting back, we resign. This feeling of helplessness leads to brooding and the belief that happiness is meant for anyone but us.

Do: We can’t blame others nor circumstances. Don’t keep stewing in your own juice and swallowing your pride. Dare to speak your mind and set boundaries. We want to be loved for who we are and not because we are easy to handle.

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8. Fear of failure
Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called "atychiphobia") is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals. Fear of failure can be linked to many causes.

Do: Don’t start a spiral of self-fulfilling prophecies to prove to yourself that you are a failure by approaching new challenges half-heartedly. Always give your best possible, even if it might not be enough. Eventually, you will succeed.

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