No more Silence!
You know me as a cranky lady, and that I truly am. But today the crankiness hit new kind of high.
Let me elaborate.
I have been in Steemit now only 86 days, and I have loved every second of that 86 days. The biggest reason to love this place for me is, and was the total freedom and privacy. The freedom to post whatever I felt like posting! From nudes to political propaganda! And in some cases that is the same thing. Also, no need to scroll back my posts, no nudes and no propaganda there, I just loved the freedom to choose those if I wanted to.
I would be lying if I said that rewards aren’t the one motivator also, they are. But I’m tiny user still, and my rewards don’t really make too much difference in my life. I’ve powered up, every cent to gain more in this community, so in some point I could give something back to it.
And this is a lot said from person who truly hates everything “community based”.
People say they came for money and stayed for the community, that’s not me. I came because of Chat, and stayed because of it. Money is irrelevant for me. At least in Steemit. Of course I love money, mama need to pay the lifestyle you know!
But here in the wonderland of internet money doesn’t matter. For me the like minded people matter the most. And isn’t that why there is chat after all?
I have to give a huge shout outs for @apsu and @acidyo. The lovely bread man and my second favored diffiCUNT made my way so easy to world of steem(it).chat. In little community of horrible like minded people I’m proud to be considering as my friends now.
The freedom has been compromised.
Even when I post stuff with my face on it, I have had awesome privacy to do that. Nobody but @eveuncovered knows me in real life. And frankly, she already has listened my ranting for years so nothing new in here for her. More giggles maybe cauz the uncovered lady just loves me when I get super cranky.
So how is the freedom compromised then? Well, Steemit is growing, and more people get involved in it. Also, people I know in real life. And to be honest, I wasn’t waiting that to happen in months. So, what is the big of a deal here? Or even is there one?
YES!
There is. For me at least. Internet has always been my safe haven, my hiding place on sight, place I don’t have to pretend. This may sound awful, and it truly is, as in my daily life I have to act a lot. Act nice, act social, act compassionate. I rarely are these things for real, and if I am, you can be lucky because that means that I consider you as my friend or loved one.
Everybody knows that life of acting is extremely exhausting, so when lady uncovered introduced me to Steemit, this place nobody knew about I was relieved! At last, social media, that is based on random people, not necessary people from your real life.
I have serious history of loving to spend my time with randoms. When I was just a teenager I used to spend hours and hours in IRC. Talking with people. Well, the IRC died over time. At least the channels I was using. And I was left with this urge to talk with randoms. Weird, right? Person who is not considered as social, have urge to talk to people. Random people. Not a Finnish thing either.
About the anxiety.
I don’t talk shit. Not in here, nor in real life. Real life is just the smoothed version. In here I don’t have to bowdlerize myself. Well, I don’t have to do that in real life either, but it is so much easier to live your daily life when you don’t make everybody to hate you. Here I don’t mind to be hated every once and a while. It is part of the game. It is the all and mighty Internez! I don’t want to be warm and cozy, I want that people feel something more when they rub elbows with me. Is it love, or hatred, doesn’t matter, just something more than “naaaaaah, next”.
From the beginning I wanted to keep my real life and steemit life separate. Not because I’m embarrassed of either one. But because they needed to be separate. I didn’t want to get in the situation I have to explain my acts. And now, that moment is way too near. There is place and time for play, and there is place and time for serious business.
Steemit is my playground, and I’m afraid that there is people who don’t know how to honor my choice to keep these two things separate. There is reason I don’t use my real birth name in here. There is reason I don’t tell where I live. There is reason why I don’t tell where I work. The reason is: IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Those things don’t make me who I am. So no, there is no reason for you to know that.
Okay, there is people who knows where I live, work and what is the mystical birth name of mine. Those people aren’t randoms for me anymore. They are somebody I consider as friends. And yes, there is people this cranky bitch is considering as a friend. The thing is, I don’t think that meeting someone, or “knowing them in real life” has nothing to do with the friendship.
So, I might know you in real life. I might even talk with you daily basis. But no. I don’t consider you as my friend.
And if you know me in the wonderful real life, please, IGNORE me in steemit!
Ignore, me here unless I give you right to do otherwise. If you end up reading this (and by “you” I mean that you will identify yourself from all this) Be so kind and honor my choice to not mix my irl with my steeming.
Yes, it is time to come out from a closet. I'm a over 100kg hairy man, who loves to play as a cross-dresser with an alternative account called @Escapist. I dress up as a woman to feel beautiful.
Now you all know my secret. I hope you can handle this.
This is why I don't mix my irl with my
ircsteeming.😂😂😂😂 thanks ! I’ve always wanted to be hairy man!
Well deep inside - you have already always been one!
Oh so it was that! I've always thought it was just a rash...
I knew it!
...makes sense.
Yes, that is me!
I hated Elihal. Everyone else was alright but I didn't like him.
I didn't care about him much. But he was one of the few people who surprised Geralt this much. So I give a tiny + for that. My hatred is reserved for whoreson junior and the crones.
That felt really good reading because I could absolutely relate. I totally get your choice of staying somewhat anonymous online. I also always prefer to live a life online AND a real life separately. It's just so much easier to be yourself online where nobody knows you and no one can judge you the way they do in real life.
Exactly! I hate this anxiety I got from fear of exposing, and in short time (like two weeks or so) I already noticed that my personal fear of getting caught is affecting in my posting. And it sucks!
I even thought several days, would I even write this post. But I'm glad I did, I know that I can't control peoples act towards me, but I also somewhat hope that my humble request about letting me keep my privacy and freedom went through.
Ahh I know that feeling, I used to have a blog a few years ago and it was all going great until one of my friends discovered it and passed the info to our group of friends. Everything went to hell after that because I had to censor myself a lot and had to stop making up stories which was something I always enjoyed...It was one of the reasons I stopped blogging for a long time.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you, so people would leave you alone with your privacy. It's a matter of respect. I would never try to expose anyone because it's just none of my business.
Not only diffiCUNT but also CUNTastic! You look cranky because of that furry thing... I know it's no Foxy Fox :(
Thats right, where is my foxy fox? I would look alot more CUNTastic with real fox!
what a great day. so many fiery ladies today.
Someone seems to have a death wish:D
at the moment playing with fire is most entertaining thing in my life. But death could be acceptable as well...
I was just thinking about something similar to your predicament the other day. I was watching something about how people censor their online life. They only tell people the good things. I do that sometimes too, but it's not always only positive things. Perhaps that's true on Facebook more than other places because it's tied to your real life. You get to write your own story on the internet. That does mean that some will only tell the best of their existence, but others will be more honest with their pain under a pseudonym.
It's not like I'm all happy happy joy joy in here. Or even just one of those things. I want to stay raw. That happy and joy bullshitness is usually occupied to my real life where i need to pretend more. But you are definitely right about story telling. Either way, we are telling a story, truth or false does it really even matter?
I don't think it really does. Even the story we tell is telling of who we are, even if it's not the truth.
Truth is overrated anyway. Only awesome stories matter, no one gives a shit how much you use crayons on it.
And this is basically the reason why I have never posted a picture of myself on the internet. I have always gone by some random username.
Call me narcissist, but I want to use my own face for stuff I post. And I'm standing behind everything I say in here and irl. I just don't care if all my co workers and family and all starts to follow me, and commentating stuff irl what is meant to stay in internet.
Great post and nice story behind it ;)