I am Eric Dyce, and I am not a terrorist.

That being established, I am being haunted by my past, it is trying to destroy my present and thus the future.

I lived freely and openly amongst men and women (the latter mostly) in my early life, I was friends with all, I loved and was loved, however I did not take any relationship personally.
My life changed, and without my permission, even without my knowledge at the time. It was a January 9, it was about 5 years ago, that was the transformation point, but that wasn’t the beginning.

The Beginning

There was a little damsel I met in church, I hated her, I hated her guts, she was too bubbly, and …. Something else I couldn’t place. About a year later, circumstance got us to be seated next to eachother, in the same church, it was a father’s day, we chatted casually, I claimed to be her father hidden away from her since the beginning of her life, and the man she calls father is just an alibi.
We laughed, and somewhere in between that 1 hour 30 minutes of service, my hate for her vaporized, then condensed into love (casual love). Our minds resonated effortlessly, I told her all my notoriety, it felt safe telling her, telling her anything. Afterwards we talked everyday leading to the 9th of January

9th of January

On the 9th day of a January, new year festivities still in the air, the opposite of the atmosphere was the aura around us, so much nervousness in conversation like none before.... long story short.... we kissed, we started dating.
The dating would change me from the sweet nonchalant happy everyone’s boy, to a dedicated jealous responsible man. And later to a heartbroken thus stronger, and in some way meaner man.

The relationship ended, but it refused to go, I couldn’t get me in a new one and cope, I was always back to the former.
It’s been a while now and I have been liberated, I kept a couple partners, it was bliss and fun, then I decided to settle with one woman. Pretty funny intelligent sexy woman, I must confess

Guess what!? Without my assistance in any way, my ancient relationship is bringing tension into my newfound joybag. I repeat, without my assistance.

I will strategize, I will orchestrate, I will make this work

This might have entertained you, but catch the lesson/advice I’m throwing out; When your past tries live in the contemporary,
You
End
Up
Like
This

Thus rearrange your priorities, before it disarranges your personality
[advice/suggestions/counsels are welcome below]
Thank you