All these years of it being stolen a few times, tossed into endless backpacks, drawers, and being dropped. I went to try and turn it on the other night. Finally, it would not work anymore despite my own best efforts. Was I geek growing up? Perhaps. Do I feel like I lost a part of myself? Indeed.

Middle School

I recall all the way back in middle school needing a better calculator for whatever math class I was going to be taking next. Money was very tight so I ended up asking if I could have a better calculator for my birthday and have it as an early present since it was needed before then. I was willing to negotiate the budget being rolled into other holidays like Christmas as well if need be.

I never ask what the price was back then but I know it could not have been cheap. In fact some places you might still be able to find it for $150 today. Needless to say, I got quite a fair amount of miles out of it. I had no clue at the time how it would be the last calculator I needed till now.

I was not your normal middle school if you could not tell by me wanting such a calculator. While the school system I was in was somewhat poor and they believe in creating “well rounded” maroons. They wanted to focus on areas I struggle in like English classes instead of things I excelled in like harder math classes. Budget restraints and all that I suspected.

I would once in a while get a math teacher who took almost no time what so ever to realize I did not belong in their class. I recall in one of my middle school math classes scoring something like a 139%. I broke the curve the class was graded on and thus my scores were not included to be fair to the class. How could one get such a grade? Simple I did all the extra credit I was given. To the point, I was given my own login details to some online site. I ended up getting into what I was told “college grade” math problems before I could not score high enough to continue. While I don’t recall what they were entirely I believe it was Trigonometry. You really did not have the self-learning resources like nowadays so that in itself was impressive.

I was not the only kid in that class that was given access to that site. I was, however, the last one to inform the teacher I got as far as I could before giving up. Most lasted a day or two before saying “hey I check out that site I did what I could.” I spent a few weeks if I recall and the teacher had thought maybe I just did not care after all and was not doing it. The glee on her face when I said I got as far as I could when she looked into what I got up to. A week later she seems to not want to interact with me and almost sad for a few days. I suspected she tried to get me promoted out of that class and was told I struggle in other areas or something along those lines and so they preferred to focus costs elsewhere.

After that, I was asked a few times if I wanted to explain how to solve a new equation before the classes were even shown it. I was rather shy so I never looked forward to being singled out like that. Sometimes I would just lie and say “nope” while I looked down at the floor. I did not even like bringing mistakes in the textbook or the ones on the whiteboard forward while the class was still going on. I preferred to discuss such a thing when the lesson was done for the day.

I then would do that half an hour to an hours’ worth of math homework in the last remaining minutes of “pack up time” we were given before the end of each class. Once in a while teams of classmates would form groups splitting up the homework trying to finish it before I could. They never succeed. I was a smart cookie back then I guess. It was a fun game and I felt respected.

High School

When high school rolled around I was hoping finally I would get my chance to get into some math classes I want. My goal was Calculus and the system I swear was against me the entire way. Sometimes I felt like my TI-89 Titanium was my only friend.

Algebra

The first math class I was put into was taught by an English teacher who requires a waiver to be signed since he was “teaching out of his field of study.” The guy did not know anything except the back of the book answers. He was not even given a teachers book for that math class.

The kids knew the class would be a joke so I can say at least they did not burn down the trailer like classroom the class was being taught in. Since there were not enough rooms in the school for all the kids they had a few of these type of things set up around the grounds.

Administrators were called out almost daily to deal with kids tossing stuff at the teacher, tipping over desks, and excess swearing among other things. Every time the class had to be stopped and kids were taken out to be questioned. I was a freshman in a class that had seniors who needed it to graduate. Not wanting to get beat up myself my answer was always “I did not see anything.” The nerd and his calculator wanted to be left alone. I taught myself the class after failing to try and explain concepts to the teacher on why his answer was wrong.

I earned an A in that class and that should have meant something to someone somewhere. Not my guidance’s consular that was for sure. She hated my guts for some unknown reason I am 100% sure of this to this day.

The Clowns

That consular must have gotten a lot of joy out of my suffering. For a few math classes after that, I was trapped being put in the same classes with the class clowns of the school. It was their mission in life to troll, cause trouble, and get kicked out of class as often as possible. Teachers were not trained to deal with such kinds of troublemakers.

One teacher for whatever reason required everyone to score a 100% on his “2-5 math question tests” he would just randomly have during a lesson. We got to retake the test over and over and over till the entire class got 100% so we could move on. Needless to say, the trolls failed every single one of them till class was over for that day.

Other times this one kid would tell the teacher to “fuck off” and the teacher would kick him out of the classroom. I recall once the kid walking back into class with the dentition slip tore up and he tossed it into the teacher's face with a grin on his face. He said something along the lines “they told me I can’t miss any more class.” It was lord of the flies after that.

I taught myself the class as well and earned a B+. I was told I had the highest in the class and ~89%. Shocking I know that was a big dissepiment to me.

Please, Honors Math Class

My request was my nightmare! I did not even have to have a back and forth with my guidance’s consular on this one. it was a grin on her face and I should have known better. The first day of Honors Geometry and who do I see? Oh ya “fuck off teacher” kid in this class. Expect this time he and the teacher got along great because they loved football. The class was just social hour even people from the office would come to join in and chat up the teacher. At the end of the class he at least put up the homework on the board. That was about as much teaching as he ever did from what I recall.

This is when I found out Geometry was my Achilles Heel. I loved Algebra and this stuff I could not teach myself. I was failing by the time midterms rolled out.

Then we moved a few cities over and I got to go to a new high school in the middle of a term. They did not have all of my classes, and some of them they did I was very far behind. On top of that, they were like “you are failing your honors class so we are just putting you into a normal one.” It broke my heart and along with my love for math after so much struggle.

TI-89 Titanium Hide N’ Seek

In total my calculator was stolen or as they called it “borrowing” out of my backpack during classes over a dozen times without my permission over my high school years. Sometime I would just hear someone toss it onto the ground and I prayed every time it was still working.

Other times I would look up from reading the book we had to read or doing whatever class work I was so involved in trying to solve that I did not notice someone had open up my backpack (did not have a locker). Just to see a kid standing there with a giant grin on his face. I knew the words that were coming next “guess what I just hid somewhere in the classroom” or “I hope you didn’t mind I needed a paperweight.”

My face would go redder than a tomato and I would just shake with anger. I could not afford to replace it and it was my only true friend for some years. You would think a teacher would realize something might just go down and try to de-escalate things. Nope, they would just move to where the button to call the front desk was and wait to see if it was required. Had one teacher once tell me after class something around the lines “you know I would have let you get a few swings in before calling the front desk. ” I thought to myself “gee thanks” and I walked out of that classroom without saying a word. There just no logical response to that anyways.

Precalculus

I don’t recall the class before this one but that math teacher was not to bad. By then my mood and love for math were fading fast. I just recall enjoyed doing Sudoku puzzles with the teacher while we were waiting on the bell to ring for the class to end. We would take turns placing 1 number each onto the board. She would copy them onto the whiteboard from her newspaper.

While I had fumbled my way to it and I had finally made it into a non-required math class. No more class clowns, no more people stealing my calculator. In fact, everyone had a graphing calculator or borrowed one from the spares they had in the classroom. Everyone wanted to be there- except me. I did not care anymore.

Something in me somewhat cared enough to ask for the class and be told by that consular “you can’t take another math or science credit. That's all you ever want to take.” Well turns out I could and they were not going force me into a gym or art class I did not legally need to graduate.

The teacher in Precalculus really cared and tried, oh, she tried to connect with me. I think she could tell at some point I loved math. Once in a while, the class would get on the topic of real-world applications and that where I would have some shine in my eyes. I just recall once we were talking about the stock market and Fibonacci Retracement. It was something about applying what we had just learned and expanding it into an off the book topic of technical analysis. In regards to applying it out of the classroom.

I just recall it was a really hard class. I was not the only one who was struggling either. I later found out most of the class did not pass or simply did not request to go on.

This time I did not need to teach myself the class the teacher was doing her job. I ended up with a very low grade but not failing. Had next to no passion left in me for it. I spent more time being angry about not enjoying math than anything else. I knew I blew the opportunity was given.

Calculus

For 5 minutes of my life, I was in this class in high school. There were just 8 kids in that class. It was taught by some really old lady and she spent almost no time at all informing me a “mistake was made” and she had already cleared it up with the office. I somewhat expected this as I did not even request the class so how it ended up on my schedule was beyond my understanding.

They ended up putting me in a science class and I really loved it. The teacher and I got along really well. He would often times come by as we were doing different science experiments in the class and we have a chat about this or that as he made his rounds. I noticed with the other students he never really spent much time with their group. Just checked in and moved on. The two biggest nerds in his class where my lab partner and myself.

Around a month in the teacher asked me “what did he do to make me change my mind about wanting to be in his class.” I flat out told him I had no clue what he was talking about. He had a piece of paper from the front desk that informed him I was being switched to another class and I was to report to my guide consular to find out more.

I was told once I got down to the office a mistake was made and I was going to be accepted back into my Calculus class. I remember my hands trembling and I even had a teardrop in my eye as I slowly walked back to the class I was rejected from. I open the door and something along the lines like “what are you doing here” was said. I don’t recall much other than walking back down to the office again-- very pissed off.

A mistake was made alright. I was told to just go back to my science class while they tried to sort out how this even happened. In fact, I had an endless amount of scheduling issues and every time “oh the computer.” Yep, the computer put me into all freshmen classes I had passed on my senior year and bunch of other nonsense…

I don’t recall ever finding out but I do recall some happy memories of that science class so there was that. I at least got to use the TI-89 Titanium a few times and my lab partner just loved using it and playing around with all the different functions. I even had some games on it that I don’t recall anymore.

College And Beyond

While it was overboard for most of what I took I used the TI-89 Titanium at every opportunity I had. I took most of my classes online wanting to avoid the class clowns. Along with those exploiting the system of government aid as they milk the system and never intended to get an education out of it. I had run in with a few of them when I had to take a class at the campus. Online I could tell who they were as they always wanted someone else to do all the work. For the most part, it was non-group work (my favorite) and I got to do projects even solo if you had an option to have people in a group. Everything was more focused around turning in projects then taking tests which I felt was a better way anyway of demonstrating a set of skills anyway. I hate tests with a passion!

From a couple of college math credits, I took right into my business and accounting classes. It was always a joy to break out the TI-89 Titanium even when it was not needed. Most times it was just out on my desk even on days I had no need for it. A simple reminder even when I would struggle that I would find and meet deadlines and excel at my class work.

Later in life, it mostly sat in a drawer in my desk. Always on top of whatever else was in there! I never let it go more than a couple notebooks down before I would pull it up to the top again. I even thought I lost it once and tore apart an entire room looking for it.

Mostly I would just take it the TI-89 Titanium and use it when I explore sites like MIT OpenCourseWare for some afternoon or evening fun. While I’m no longer a smart cookie and my math skills these days are rather horrible. I still do enjoy some nerdy videos on math from time to time.

While I’m not a very sentimental kind of person. I don’t see the TI-89 Titanium as broken junk and I’m going hold onto it. It has a special place in my heart. I might even find a place for it on my bookshelf.

Information

Created and written by @enjar base on my life. Equations I drew in Math Input. The photo was taken using Photosmart M627.