Want To

Society has trained people to use words like "should" and "have to" and "can't." These words are good for saving face: If you are taking leave so you can go to the bank before it closes, you can say "I have to go to the bank." If a college student wants to stop chatting in order to study, s/he can say, "I'm sorry, I really should study now." So, these words are helpful for being polite and tactful. 

But, they have negative applications, too. "Can't" is often an excuse for not trying. "Should" and "have to" are ways to punish yourself for things you're not doing. 

People often tell themselves that they "have to" do something in order to motivate themselves. The problem is, when it doesn't work, some people build up a guilt complex. Even when it does work, many people fail to take pleasure in their activities. Do you like what you're doing if you "have to" do it? Your actions, duties, job, schedule--even your dreams and relationships--can become a drudgery. The words "have to" and "should" are prisons. 

Freedom comes from the words "want to." You don't have to go to the bank, you want to go--so you don't pay overdraft charges. You don't have to study, you want to--so you can get good grades and be able to select your career. You don't have to clean your home, you want to--so you can live in comfort and find things when you look for them. 

                    

If you do things because you want to, you enjoy your life more. And ironically, you're more likely to do them than if you tell yourself you "should" or "have to." Also, if you want to do something, you're more likely to find a way to do it than if you tell yourself you "can't." 

You probably say words like "can't," "should," and "have to" all the time without knowing it. 

Watch your language! Change your words and your attitude, and watch your motivation increase.