Do you compare yourself with others?

If you have a terrible habit of comparing yourself with other people who you think are better than you are, don’t worry, it’s a common problem and I do it too! Recently I went on a course which was full of very accomplished people, but was surprised at just how under-confident many of those amazing people were. On the course there were academics, business people and entrepreneurs. But there was definitely something lacking in many of these people’s self-belief. 

                                    

Let’s face it, if we want to compare ourselves to others, there are plenty of aspects to choose from, we may make assumptions that these people- 

are more intelligent 

are more capable 

have a more successful business/career 

have a better relationship/marriage 

are fitter, slimmer etc 

are more confident 

have a better personality 

are better in our field of expertise than we are 

and the list goes on… 

Making these assumptions about others can really obstruct our own progress. We can get to the point where we do not even bother to try to achieve things because the people we have put on a pedestal seem so much further ahead than we are. We may feel that we’ll never catch up, so wonder if there’s any point in trying. 

                                

(I’m glad to say that I have managed to get myself past the point of not daring to try, but I still do get a little hung up on those people that appear to be so much more successful than I currently am.) 

The course encouraged openness so the delegates were being very honest about their feelings of self-doubt, but if these people had not expressed it, I would have been the one thinking that THEY were better than me in many respects, and I would also have assumed that they were also more confident than me, but how wrong I would have been. 

                                     

I felt that many of these people were in the place I was in two or three years ago. They were daunted by the prospect of change and mostly seemed to focus on the reasons why they couldn’t do something, rather than the reasons why they could. 

Fortunately, I’ve now got to place in my life where I generally look for reasons why I CAN do something and I’m also beginning to accept that whilst there are always going to be people that are more successful than me in my particular field, that doesn’t mean that I can’t enter into that field at all. It just means that I have experience to gain and skills to learn and that I have to start somewhere. And there is room for us all. 

I came way from the course feeling that I had achieved something with regard to my own personal development over the last two or three years, and felt proud of that. I discovered that the self-doubt that I have is far less than that of many of the other people that I met there. I have worked on myself and as a result have a lot more confidence in my abilities and much more self-belief that I had given myself credit for. 

                                      

Sometimes we are wrapped up in our own little worlds, only comparing ourselves with the best. This does us no favours. But if you find yourself in a situation where you’re faced with what is more “the norm”, you can often find that you’re a lot further forward than you thought. 

When I left, I not only felt happy for myself but had deep and genuine hopes for those on the course who wanted to move forward with their lives, but weren’t for whatever reason, able to do so right now. I know that if they keep pushing they’ll get to a place where they feel they have the power to change. I’ve seen myself do it and so I just know they can do it too.