Causes of Discontentment
Discontentment has many causes: Meeting wants instead of needs, the temporary nature of this life, dissatisfaction, fear, disappointment with oneself, and loneliness can all increase one's discontentment.
Wants do not satisfy hunger. Examples: Eating a candy bar doesn't satisfy the body's need for protein or vitamins. Alcohol and coffee do not satisfy the need for water. Watching TV doesn't satisfy the soul's need for satisfying work. Sitting doesn't satisfy the need for exercise. Procrastinating doesn't satisfy the need for completing important tasks. Selfishness doesn't satisfy spiritual and emotional needs.
Present circumstances are always temporary. Change is the one constant thing on this planet. Examples: There are only so many times you can listen to a song before you don't want to hear it anymore. There are only so many times you can wear a beautiful sweater before it loses its beauty. Periods of strong economy and high income are followed by recessions and unemployment. Health slowly fades with aging. Jokes get old. People and organizations show their imperfections over time.
Dissatisfaction causes one to seek something better. The grass is always greener on the other side, the saying goes. Criticism of the faults of one's present circumstances (complaining) decreases satisfaction, increasing the desire to look for something better instead of looking for the positive aspects of one's circumstances. Boredom is an example of dissatisfaction. Boredom causes people to look for new stimuli when the answer could be to be creative with your present circumstances. How can I make my boring job more interesting? What little improvement can I make in my home life? How can I challenge myself in my relationships?
Fear for the future causes restlessness which people often satisfy through meeting useless wants which only satisfy for brief periods of time. It also causes wishful thinking, and sometimes leads to gambling or escapism (such as through alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors). Fear also leads to anger and panic, causing poor decisions (such as purchases bought quickly and promises believed too easily in search of a quick solution).
Disappointment with oneself might include disappointment with one's lack of progress, improvement, victory over vices and bad habits, completion of projects, etc. In other words, procrastination and setbacks create a disappointment with oneself. Disappointment with oneself creates a desire to look elsewhere for wisdom instead of following one's own advice. This causes people to fill up their bookshelves with self-help books (which they might or might not read, but whose advice they rarely follow, partially because it tells them things they already know but don't do) or spend a great deal of time in internet support groups, always looking for information they don't know instead of following their own advice.
Loneliness is another great source of discontentment. Some say that God created the Universe (especially humanity) because God was lonely. Sometimes, when I'm lonely, I find an activity to keep my mind busy so I forget my loneliness--or to seek company, even with strangers. Sometimes the activity I choose costs money. Whatever I choose, it's a temporary fix. The loneliness comes back to haunt me until it is satisfied by healthy relationships (family, friendships, love, generosity, etc.). Some people even claim that loneliness is a longing for a closer relationship with God.
Once you have identified which of these causes affect you the most, you can increase your contentment by seeking the opposite of each cause. The opposites are usually obvious. For example, the opposite of fear is optimism (i.e. the belief that you can gradually improve a situation). The opposite of dissatisfaction is "counting your blessings". The opposite of being let down by change is accepting change. The opposite of acquiring wants is meeting your needs first.
To gain more inner peace and contentment, seek the opposite of the causes of your discontentment.