How to be a flexible parent
There is no single right way to form a well-behaved child. Indeed, there are some rules in child-rearing that can be applied to all children, such as the norm that all children should be loved and should not live in fear of physical or emotional abuse. It is a principle that must be agreed upon by all sensible parents. However, beyond that principle many aspects of parenting can be a subject of debate.
Individual differences
Simple examples such as the application of positive values. The youngest child may respond to us very well if we promise to read more stories before going to sleep. This may be the right incentive to motivate him to behave better. However, the elder son may not be motivated by the lure. It can be more motivated if the incentive is in the form of extra time to play with friends. The interests and individual nature of the child affect the way we interact with them. Every child in the family often needs a slightly different parenting approach.
Age difference
Emotional needs fluctuate with age. Hugs and some quiet words are usually enough to restore the confidence of a toddler who feels isolated by his friend. While in the same situation, older 5-year-olds need clear advice on how to improve their social skills or resolve conflicts. To be effective, parenting should be tailored to the child's growth.
Dynamic differences
Parents may find that a proven strategy for dealing with children's behavior last week may be less effective this week, or even less successful at all. The interaction between parent and child is dynamic and flexible. For example, when a child cries at night, at first we carry him, hug him, give him a drink and then put him back in bed. This is the usual approach of parents on the basis of love for children who wake up at night because of nightmares. The next week, when she had nightmares we did the same thing, because that was the normal way.
But, the situation is slightly different if the child wakes up at night for the third time. This time it was not a nightmare, but because he knew that if he woke up at night, he would get a hug, little chance to play, and a little drink. In other words, he now thinks getting up at night is fun.
The strategy we are doing now becomes less appropriate because it will encourage the actions that we actually want to prevent. Now, if we play with him longer, then he'll wake up again tomorrow night. For that, now decide to give a reaction that is not excessive if he woke up at night. Maybe we can calm him down without lifting him out of bed and without giving him any additional stimulation.