SEC17 WK:#1: Forgiveness unites family.

Forgiveness is that quality that is uncommon in the world around us. People rather see those who forgive or who ask for forgiveness as weaklings. How do you view it and what effect does it have in your family. Is there any scenario that took place in your family which brings out the beauty of this quality Feel free to write on this topic, choosing your own subheadings or tips. Stories are allowed but real life stories that happened either in your family or that of others.

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Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the act of pardoning or letting go of animosity, aiming to reconcile and improve relationships. While it's a potential strength, it's often perceived as weakness in our culture. This perception hinders people from forgiving, as they fear being seen as weak. However, forgiveness is a virtue that can mend fractured relationships and bring families together.

Forgiveness in the Family Context

From personal experience, I believe forgiveness can work wonders in familial relationships, fostering stronger emotional bonds and eliminating bitterness. It's crucial not to misunderstand or undervalue forgiveness. Instead, it should be seen as an indicator of generosity and kindness, despite being hurt or betrayed.

Learning Forgiveness from Elders

Forgiveness is a learned behavior, often observed from elders in the family. If parents or grandparents exhibit a forgiving nature, younger family members are likely to adopt similar behavior. Reflecting on my own family, I see the stark difference between my father's forgiving nature and my own reluctance to forgive. Despite wrongdoings by family members, my father easily forgives, teaching us kindness and empathy.

Healing Through Forgiveness

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As humans, we make mistakes and often react instead of responding to situations. Forgiveness has the power to mend fractured relationships and transform them. I've witnessed forgiveness act as a bridge, strengthening relationships and reinstating emotional bonds, empathy, and mutual respect.

Personal Anecdote of Forgiveness

Allow me to share a real-life story about my in-laws. It dates back some 20 years ago when misunderstandings between them almost led to divorce.

My mother-in-law (MIL) and father-in-law (FIL) had a love marriage, quite uncommon 35 years ago. My wife recounted this story to me a few years after we got married.

FIL worked in the power development department, with a hectic schedule. He embodied the typical Indian man, seeking authoritarian control over his wife, MIL. Back then, open-ended communication between spouses was rare, and patriarchy prevailed. On the other hand, my MIL, a city lady, was assertive about her rights and refused to accept FIL's dominance. Communication barriers led to misunderstandings, eventually pushing FIL to consider divorce.

Sadly, my grand FIL passed away shortly after their marriage, so the matter reached the elder uncle of my FIL, through my wife, who was in 8th grade at the time. He intervened by hearing both sides impartially.

He counseled them separately, trying to convince each that no mistake warranted divorce. Then, he brought them together, urging them to forgive each other without dwelling on the past. Having heard both perspectives, he believed both had made mistakes of equal magnitude. He implored them to apologize and forgive from their hearts.

Following this, they chose to lead a happy life together, with open communication and mutual respect. They raised three daughters and a son, living happily as a united family.

Thank you