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in #life6 years ago (edited)

I think it's time to tell a few love stories...

These are currently tragedies. :(

Once upon a last May there was a tinder match... we had some witty banter and I invited her out for ice cream. That didn't happen, A few weeks later we spoke again and banter ensued. This time I invited her to a DJ event that I was opening, made her a special ticket... and again a no show. However we did eventually meet over ramen and a yoga class. I remember getting into my car after meeting her and saying: "Wow."

I saw her at her work briefly in June but before we could go on a date date she told me she met somebody and she wants to explore the relationship with due diligence. I thanked her for the honesty and for some strange reason a calm fell over me. Somehow knowing that her relationship just wasn't going to go well... not that I wished ill upon her, just a knowing.

During this time I came up with an idea for an intentional community and developed some marketing material but the interest was thin and I didn't pursue it much.

Eventually this girls social media started blowing up with snarky "say this do that" about her nearly ex.
I brought some ice cream over and we read tarot, she gave me a deck, and we talked... I was enthralled by her intelligence and perspective on so many things. To this day the way she explained art, reason, action, and reality sits at the forefront of my walking thought. As we were saying our good byes I put my arm around her. She took my arm off of her and said that she was intent on remaining single for 6 months to find herself.

Several weeks later she made a post looking for odd-jobs and I invited her over to clean and mop my studio. While she was at my place she invited me out to the desert for camping over NYE. Of course I said yes, and a few days later I was on my way.

This experience was a turning point in my life. For all intents and purposes this trip did not go well. Not at all.

I took a mind altering substance and sure enough my mind was altered. I saw what I consider to be a my distant past, a near future... and my role in it; and her role in my life. I became deeply ashamed that I had been given a cognitive gift and was then driving for Lyft and making a business out of thumbing my nose at the LAPD. I saw the path forward, that society could shift the collective incentive mechanism and live in abundance... I saw a near future that was dismal, I knew this girl was going to be leaving my life shortly. She slept in my tent that night, we curled up together. Over the night I didn't sleep at all; I had to use the bathroom what seemed like every 5 minutes... so when I saw the morning twilight I stayed out of the tent and contemplated all that I had seen.

When she woke up she was avoiding me; and when I finally got to talk to her... when I was going to tell her what happened in my mind... I got out "So, I really like you..." and she cut me off. Saying she wasn't ready, that even cuddling the night before was too much. I don't know if I was successful holding tears back. The rest of the trip didn't go much better. I was so far out of whack I might have said 10 words the whole day.

Most of the above is wholly subjective. My perceptions of events may only be valid to me. In the following months I pieced together what is now dlux from principles and foreknowledge that rang true with me. I had never learned HTML, CSS, or Javascript... From the very beginning all my work/code has been open source and you can watch me struggle through even the simplest javascript if you replay the commits. I didn't think I could do it alone. However, help never came. If something needed to be done it was generally me who had to do it.

Anyway, the girl I had fallen so hard for was avoiding me. After I hit what I consider to be my first milestone I sent her a fairly long text that was a slightly longer version of a public post about what I was up to. I told her more about what happened over new years. She replied that she definitely didn't feel the same and I should do my best to move on. She suggested as well that we end our friendship because eventually I'd feel better. This is one of the few messages I still have from her. One that I have grown accustom to reading anytime I feel myself clinging to her.

The LAPD arrested me and my roommate in our studio and held us for 21 hour on $100 bail then dropped the charges. We had had enough harassment and decided to move. I choose Las Vegas and even mentioned to her that she was the biggest reason I was leaving the State.

Before I move off to Las Vegas we had put up more proof of concept and showing this to her got her more interested? She even put up my project on her social media saying how cool it was. We went out to lunch and I listened to her ideas and as usual they were amazing. I told her how her ideas could be applied globally with blockchain... we had a decent time talking; then she drove me home.

The next morning I received a text saying she wasn't interested in working with me and that she had a different idea for her path. I moved off to Las Vegas and continued working on dlux.

We talked sometimes, but not often. She was well aware of my feelings by this point. She made a post on Facebook about wishing she had fuller lips and I commented that they were kissable. Blocked; everything all at once.

This was months ago. I sent 2 emails and used an alternate IG to ask if she was comfortable with me continuing to work with her employer. I stated all she had to do was block the account and she'd never have to see me there. She didn't block the account; she hasn't replied.

I did go in and try working. When she saw me she left, all we exchanged were curt hellos. Once again, just her presence lit the torch of inspiration. I built the Augmented Reality container for dlux on a train ride from San Diego to Los Angeles with no internet connection. I live in a world, where I can turn a concept into reality in under an hour.

But what world is this?

It has now been 10 months since the thought inception of @dlux-io. I'm beyond proud of what it is... but does it belong here? Why are there still no competitors? There are billion dollar industries all trying to do what we did. dlux is a free trustless way to have "Ready Player One." I watched that movie for the first time recently and realize I put together and even better infrastructure than what's in the movie(better platforms lack conflict for story telling).

But it obviously doesn't belong. The wisdom of the crowds is what Steem is all about, and this crowd has spoken. Despite being developed out in the open, as a true dApp... we've received 0 support from Steemit Inc. Even now @ned is powering down over $1M. Despite trending in or near the top of steem a few times only 18 people have donated collectively less than $1,000. A few more have risklessly delegated SP to us, of which even with 100% self voting would only net us an additional $3/day.

I have never been driven by greed. I've always been driven by love for my fellow man. But what enables that success is a few basic necessities. Our ICO breakdown has @markegiles and I each with 1% take. We've received so little interest that @fyrstikken
may very well be able to buy 4x my own share for less than $200. I can't develop a platform when I can't even pay my cell phone bill.

Is this what steem wants? 10 months of work so powerful that it enables an entirely new paradigm for the internet. This is technology that can easily put steem back in the top 10 cryptocurrencies. It's worth billions... and I can't even buy litteral bootstraps.

I'll be taking the weekend off. Consider github.com/dluxio as my resume. Either steem will employ me or I'll have to find other employment, there isn't another option. It's really up to you.

Is this the kind of story steem needs? Somebody who believes his way to creating a new technological convergence... incentivized IPFS hosting AND the ability to run Turing Complete programs with 0 cost or infrastructure. P2P VR, AR, XR that only earns money ... well, not if nobody believes.

I recently checked her instagram and a few weeks ago she posted an oil painting done of her. I can't word for word the poetry, but she stated she no longer wanted to be the artist... she wanted to be the muse that inspired us to speak all truths. My truth is despite all my best efforts I still wake in the morning thinking about her. My will power and self discipline, even moving states, haven't quelled this feeling. My only outlet building what I saw.

Keanu-losing-mouth1.jpg

How can I continue through this pain. Since I started posting about blockchain my reach on facebook and IG have plummeted. My friendships have waned. Even being driven to make the world a better place won't feed me or pay the bills. If love stops being my motivator then I'm even more concerned for myself. All I want to do is continue... I'm just looking for a way forward that I am unable to see.

Encouragements and Job Offers appreciated.

Especially funding our dream

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Man great storytelling. This had me from beginning to end. I wish i weren’t broke so I could back your cause, i can see your passion for what youre doing.
To be honest the idea of vr scares a bit of poop out of me because of all the scifi ive read and because of the growing disconnect that the world has with reality already, but it does seem like something people, especially around here, would be drooling over.
Keep listening to your muse either way brother.

By the way did you eat ramen before doing yoga? Sounds like a noisy downward dog to me ;)

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yes good story, nexttime get a flying tent, use the zombie amber aler

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