Chaos at the Communication Center
Ever have one of those days?
Where everything you say or do comes out wrong?
When every attempt to achieve success is seeming to fail?
Whether be it an attempt to communicate with a loved one, or to comprehend the complexities of "Steemit Math", some days just seem...impossible.
And it's not the fault of those variables; they are fixed. Well, they do fluctuate. But the way they behave is consistent. It is I that is inconsistent with my behavior. With my...reactions.
The fault lies with me.
Have you tried to hold sand in your hand? The tighter you squeeze, the more that slips between your fingers.
Until there is nothing left. Only your empty fist. I don't know why I'm surprised, when I outstretch my hand, and there is nothing there.
Who wants to hang around to get pressured into falling through the cracks?
I certainly don't blame anyone but myself. And I do a damn thorough job of it.
To the point where I'm not even helpful to myself, at times.
So then I just start to verbally abuse myself, compounding the problem even further.
Hell, there are days not even I want to be around me.
But no matter how poorly I'm equipped to communicate effectively in the moment, my aim is never to isolate myself. Nor is it to push others away. My goal is not to rage quit, when I find a task too difficult.
These are simply the by-products of my not having the necessary training and consistent practice of self-control.
It seems simple enough to open my mouth and state the obvious. Which is to say, I just want to be heard.
Unfortunately though, in order to be heard, I'd need to be able to stand and assert myself. And, maybe I'd be easier to listen to, if I weren't either
- shouting
or - crying
all the time.
I do strive to be a better person. A more patient person. One who actively listens to those I know have my best interest at heart. One who unapologetically silences those those I know seek to destroy anything good I try to attempt.
And, why is it always on a Friday?!!
(ok, that may be an exaggerated claim. It also happens on Mondays. And sometimes Tuesdays. Wednesday through Saturday switch hit.)
I don't know exactly where I'm going with this. It's literally pointless. Nevertheless, it was something I wanted to get off my chest.
Just...don't let go.
Image sources: Hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com and pixabay.com
~Jane
I did the same thing earlier...it helps!
Hang in there!
Thanks!! I appreciate you reading and commenting! And upvoting!
Here's the real kicker...one of those images appeared aligned differently in the preview. So just when I thought I had my "perfect post about how imperfect everything is", the image posted in a funny place, and makes the text choppy.
Perf.
LOLOLLLL.
lol
happens all the time to me...there is also a layout difference in the popout Steemit page and the linked Steemit page
so nothing to stress over!
I's good to get things off one's chest.
Often, it's not oneself who is the cause for something that's not right - even when communicating.
Lot's of factors - like an idiotic bank verification request - wait - can I have the name and SS #, address, bank account, mothers maiden, and address please - I mean the of the bank bot calling?
No!
I hate banks. Gosh, and I worked for some. Shame on me. Never again.
As for you - chin up - it's not all YOUR fault. Lot's of moving parts in this world. You just stay as you are.
~ch
You mean, you don't regularly give out that information to perfect strangers at a financial institution or otherwise?
Hmmm...
I live in the US, and I can tell you, that information is requested regularly to secure a number of accounts and transactions. Including, but not limited to, financial institutions.
To refuse to provide the requested information would result in a denial of membership and/or services.
To change the pattern of communication u have to make a change with yourself. But to even start the change you truly have to accept and decide you are willing to make a change. Issue with all this is...people tend to wait for the other person to change. :) So here we are in circles and patterns. If you wanna break it....you will have to do it. Judging from the post you know it....but are you truly willing to? As they say...repeating one action over and over again and expecting a different result is plain stupid. :)
Sorry for sounding like a bad self-improvement book. Got nothing better to offer. :) I can tell you tho....it works (well it worked for me).