The Undeveloped Road to Enlightenment

This is basically the pain of getting to my place on a rainy day. But it's not all that pain. You just bounce up and down and wish that you are not passing through the softest muddy path. You wish you will not stain your white shirt. You wish you will arrive safely at your destination. You wish you will not fall. The busy roads outside make you wish that you will still be alive by the end of the day. Little houses and towering palm trees around can distract you from such morbid thoughts.

The weather is just as confusing as a woman. I wish for not a strong sun yet the rain will stop in a bit and the oppressive sun rays will come out again. The road becomes bloody muddy again and I'm left thinking if I should still go on to buy a couple of self-medication bottles. If I should still go on making an effort to exist in this Godless universe. Trying to figure out my significance to anyone. I see along the side of the road, people are living their happy lives. Good for them. I'd just be here outside looking in, I go on with my existential cycling.

My elementary teachers used to say that we're still developing. 25 years later, here were are, still developing. No bitterness, hard feelings or whatsoever, just some things will never be changed. As a socially and politically aware adult, I've realized that there are some strong forces out there that keep certain places to be still developing.

In reality, I absolutely have no complaints about getting to my place. Cycling on undeveloped roads and dangerous highways require some certain kind of focus and strength. Some certain kind of adventure. Some certain kind of acceptance. The undeveloped road to nowhere is not for the whiny ones though. No matter how much I've dreamed of a bike-friendly road or rather, a communistic scene where everyone wears the same and rides the same, I can imagine how boring that kind of life for me. I guess comfort and convenience don't necessarily equate to happiness.

Can you imagine me cycling on a safe road where everyone else also cycles? Surely it won't feed my narcissism anymore as everyone does the same. Everyone feels safe and comfortable. Imagine me not having to look around all the time for speeding cars and trucks by my side. How boring life can be without some risks. How boring life can be if you're living in comfort all your life. If you're biking the same safe road. But good enough that you don't have to think anymore. Everything is on the table for you. Pampered, loved and sheltered. I envy you though. Take away the danger and you get boredom. Stagnating and dying within the illusion of the so-called safety and security forcefully bestowed upon your mind.

Where is the challenge if I have to pass through the bike-friendly roads all the time? I imagine myself getting sick bored with the sameness of the scenery and the coldness of the faces around me. You don't get the same kind of attention as when you brave these muddy roads. You think all the time if you will fall or not. You think all the time if you will die or not.

This is the road to enlightenment. The all-too-comfortable won't give you the same kind of spirituality. You go ride the highway to hell yourself and watch yourself grow instead of taking the various shortcuts. There are no shortcuts. Life is not easy. The roads are not easy. What I'm saying is that don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. Appreciate the badness and hardness of everything. Only through this way, life becomes worth living.

I asked someone, are there any plans to develop this road? I wonder if I will get tired but it looks like I'm fine. I've lived long enough to decide to be fine. He said he doesn't know. People have become accepting of things. I am not sure if that is a problem or not. I can see that people are happier and closer to each other. I see the real spirituality here. It pays not to be attached to dreams and illusions. You'd be grateful for what you have and you won't kill yourself for what you don't have. You'd be happier.

I no longer dream of the bike-friendly roads. I appreciate the fulfillment I get when I go through all the discomfort. When I'm able to conquer my own hardships. Everything is part of this undeveloped road to enlightenment.