Burn It All

Now that I'm back, it means that my diabolic self is here to stay. Not that I need your permission but this is my only chance to be myself, so let me be. That much-needed chance to release my diabolic thoughts. And to tell you the truth. My life, my Truth.

Some of you have read my story from the beginning, my journeys, life on the road, my struggle to exist, the ups and downs and all. And how I came back finally to where I am from to build my dreams. Nothing fascinating though. For those who didn't know, I've been living here on the island for almost 2 years. Trying to establish my own business is the most challenging journey of all. Because the most difficult aspect of it is people - surprise! And I've learned a hell lot about myself and other people. I see now why there's such a huge disparity between the haves and have nots around here. I've seen the difference.

Remember how the mindfulness cheerleaders have been teaching us to pause and be happy with whatever we have. To stop and smell the roses and just be content with our lives. And to live harmoniously with others. Sure, that must be the key to happiness. But here's the thing, in most parts of the world, some people are already good with that - which is the problem. Good at not changing the problem. Good at being content with not changing anything in their lives. Being content with just existing. Being content with not knowing whatever's out there. The death of ambition. The safety in stagnation. I sometimes think that most of them might have dumb things down in order to be happy. After all, ignorance is bliss. Sounds harsh? The funny thing is that even being "ambitious" has become an insult around here. If someone tells you that, it means you are too high up on your horse. Get off and be one of us.

Would you rather be a sheep or a wolf?

I realized how I don't fit in, not that it matters. Not that I don't like being safely isolated, following my own path and all. But there's nothing more debilitating than being surrounded by people who will go out of their way to make you feel you don't fit in. I get that now, no need to make yourselves feel better by making others feel bad. I guess this is all part of my sacrifices. All for the dream. I must be a masochist. But at the end of it all, what's the point? Maybe there's no point. Or maybe the only point is to make the most of it while I'm still alive.

I learned while I try to keep the passion alive, try to live on my own terms and try to make something out of this life, that it is hard to try if you are living amongst those who won't even try. It feels like struggling to keep my head above the water while letting those pull you down further. Based on my experience, I know that there's something that most of these people are very good at, and that is, taking something. Taking and not creating. The easy way. The easy way to make a lot of money. Taking advantage of those who are trying. The easy way to get there. The unearned advantage and wealth.

I know that if I just decide to become super diabolic, I'm capable of building great wealth too. It's tempting when some people are pushing you to your limits. There's the downside to being nice, generous, and kind. You are prone to be taken advantage of. I've heard stories from those who suffered the same fate. I realized that, yes, everyone is the same. It must be the environment and I can't blame them for what they are. And if ever there is someone in this place that is different, then that person is rare. How that person became rare, that is the question.

If you don't care anymore, proceed with your diabolic self. No explanations. No apologies.

Maybe the point is the pointlessness of it all. What I want right now is to enjoy whatever it is that I have. Whatever it is that I'm bound to achieve as the fruit of my capacity to create. Fruit of my passion. I will use it all to enjoy my life and everything that I've been deprived of at the beginning. I love to enjoy what I've earned and what I deserve - however selfish that may sound. I want to live.

Due to my mental incapacity and diabolical intentions, I don't plan to have kids or any dependents anyway. And I'm not planning to give away whatever little to these people around me, especially to those who didn't deserve or earn it in any way. And so my final wish would be, to burn it all. Burn all my tiny possessions and everything else when I'm no longer around. Watch everything burn and watch me burn. Hell, I'm not bringing them all to hell anyway, so

burn it all.