Sometimes it's difficult to align our dreams with how we live. We all have to make choices and those choices will not always follow our dreams. Being in school that you don't like doesn't mean that it was a bad choice. Not dedicating 100% of your time right now to your dreams doesn't mean is something bad. All will come together and what should happen will happen. One day you might be able to combine what you study with what you love. Or maybe not and you will do what you love 100% of your time. You are still very young so don't close any doors that are open right now. I understand your insecurities but I am sure that you will find a clear path. Just take it easy and it will all work out :)