Part 3: of our Hilarious review on Arma3 Enjoy ! .

So if you have been following our post from part 1&2 : you will understand where we are up to

We have gone through (spawn points Ground and Air ) Traders ,weapons looting ect ect....
So get ready its .... STORY TIME ......

#Bases - Dee -building yourself a base.
You will need RESPECT/EXPERIENCE points to buy some things in traders Hardware again depending on the owners/mods of the server .
You will need to purchase a * TERRITORY FLAG * from the Office at the traders approx 5000 poptabs starting price ( but most servers again have a starting fee in your lockers .
before your purchase this flag have a mosey round the map find a location where you think you will be comfortable and safe then place your flag name it (Some great names for bases we have found that i can remember very impressed are as follows best fucking names ever!!! )
. Are you there Dave
. Restart 5 minutes
. Titty Twisterz
. Shhh Nobody's here
.Trumps erected Wall

So use your imagination and name it whatever you wish!
when you have your base location remember where you place it IE..
(Your co-ordinates) as it wont show on the map where you have put it then that will be you screwed having wasted not only 5000 poptabs but also running round the fucking map like an Olympic gold medalist racing for 1st place across the map avoiding zombies and other players .
you will need to loot a AXE & HANDSAW equip them and start chopping trees down with your axe on the ground you will find Wood logs in piles ,collect those into your Inventory (make sure you have a backpack on) because you will be fucked running back and forth with 1x set of logs ( as you will need the space) by pressing your ( i ) key will bring up your inventory double click the log piles and at the top you will see recipes Campfire = 2 Wood Logs you will need to craft
and also a work bench , once you have done those you can continue to chop wood helps if you craft a storage a box aswell also in the recipes when you have enough wood logs go into the crafting menu again by double clicking and scroll down to wood Planks and craft alot COUGH ALOT! of those from that you can start crafting wood walls , floors , doors , ect ect ...
You need to start with crafting 2x floors , 3x walls , 1x door and also purchase a code lock from traders or find one typically in barns and warehouses in the towns/cities you
will need to place a box build around your flag to stop people from stealing your flag (yes this is perfectly normal for Arma .And if I am on the server i will sniff your flag out like a fly round shit! Think high use your imagination Arma building is your oyster and build whatever you want to your hearts content remember though if you run out of territory room get your little legs *and run like that fucking Olympic gold medalist again for building go back to the office at traders and upgrade your territory ( max level is 10 )
(once a week you will have to pay your protections because a it will de spawn)
####I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOUR BUILDS IN COMMENTS BELOW.

AI & Zombies - Pedro

AI & Missions:

You mean them cheating bastards with rocket launchers that despawn on kill or the fact they shoot at 2k away when your cowering behind a tree, don’t cry for mommy she not there, proceed to backpack for nappies, if no nappies present revert to wanky rag, which you probably picked up earlier. Fap mag not always included.

AI are the meanest in-game, no mercy, zero fucks given, did you like your truck stuffed with duckies? Tuff luck AI want it for breakfast, it was bad enough having AI set to one mission location but there is also roaming AI in some servers. Sometimes if you’re lucky or should I say unlucky you’ll be on mission, bad enough AI killing you from the front but then roaming AI turns up. Bam, boom now you’re surrounded, full out war between you, AI, Other AI… Roaming AI doesn’t like Players or Mission AI. Often at this point I’m like “Fuck a duck! I’m off! Cya Bye”
Most of the time Mission do have some epic loot but mainly on the fallen comrades, the crate is often building supplies or basic food, ammo and guns. If you have the time to spare to grab everything into a truck, then do so but watch out for lurking players, nothing worse than saying
“YAY, ME GOT MA SHIZ, LETS SELL” BOOM! One shot kill between the eyes. My advice for that by the way is make sure if you’re in a group, someone is always spotting for you and is well hidden.

Zombies:

Zombies are a great way to detect another player, you should use this to your advantage however should doesn’t mean you would. In most cases you’re the little bitch running away, it’s always fun when they add the other types of zombies, jumpy, screaming, running and boss. Ever seen a tank been flipped and killed everyone in a second from the boss zombies? It’s not fun, my advice, RUN! Run forest Run!

Squads & Solo - Pedro

Playing Solo:

One word. “Shit” another word “Lonely”, even better word “grindy”, lone wolf is ok as you have the free rein to do as you please, your base your rules but every mission is hard having not only to kill AI but also having to look over your shoulder for back stabbing players, just grab a friend off steam and play that’s all I can say

Playing with a Squad:

This is how Arma3 multiplayer is made to be played, if it doesn’t break first, from overlapping micro phone issues where everyone can hear what you’re doing. (I believe this bug was fixed) .
Then there was the die and can’t see other players in your group so you shoot one of your friends in the face, when they come up to you doing the friendly dance like “YAY FRIWENDS” bang! “NOOOOOOO WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME???!?!?” Say good bye to in-game rep.

Player events:

Player events used to be a thing, admins setting up kill zones or arenas where the hunger games would feel at home, air to air combat and axing ring comps, where did all this go? It was kill or be killed and win an almighty prize, make all the other players that competed, jealous and later they come steal it (if they could) from your base. I once remember doing an event in the littlebird (AH-9 Pawnee) 10 a side, Flight of the Valkyries over side chat, pure air to air combat with mini guns and rockets, this event was special to me as I almost won but died a horrible death, flying in groups into electro, under the low bridge making it out like I’m will smith in Independence Day, “don’t shoot your green shit at me” and I suddenly I had an idea!!
(LIGHT BULB! warning this is always dangers coming from me).
Everyone was flying at a visible alt. So, I headed to the clouds passing the 20k+ mark and got right above the action. Ended up been 4 players left, including yours truly and bam, was my time to strike. Nose down, everything beeping in the cockpit (which was probably my first clue this was a bad idea) seen a player below and aimed dead on.
This was my moment of glory, my 15mins fame, all coming down to this moment, Admin called last two players, other players like “Where the FUQ is he??” I’m like Mel Gibson at this point shouting “FREEDOM!”.
This would have been the perfect ending if managed to kill him, sadly after already seeing my tracer rounds from above all he did was move back. I shot passed at like 300mphs, as much use as a Dodo hailing towards the ground, no time to turn or pull up… if it could happen in slow motion I would have had that face of “it was at this point, I knew I fucked up” meme.

This concludes Episode 3 Tune in tomorrow for the GRAND FINALE......

Dee & Pedro