The Farm
The farm has been a consistency in my life since I was seventeen. It has actually been the only consistent place during my lifetime. This year that is going to come to an end.
I was so nervous the first time I stepped foot on the farm. I had only been dating Tim for a matter of months and he was taking me to meet his parents.
I knew very little about farm life, besides what I had seen on TV or read in a book. My city girl mind raced on the two and a half hour drive. I assumed there would be farm animals. To my surprise, the only animal in site was a big scary black lab barking at my car door.
The big black lab turned out to be very friendly and was just anxious to meet the new person. Once I stepped foot inside of the farm house my nerves were calmed. Tim’s parents were very welcoming and kind.
Over the course of the next fifteen years, I married Tim, we had our kids and we visited the farm as often as life would allow. We have always celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving on the farm. Sadly, we lost Tim in 2001 to melanoma skin cancer and he took his last breath right there on the farm.
So you can see why the farm has been such an important part of my life. It is not only a consistency but I have many memories, people and things that tie me to that place.
After Tim died, I continued the tradition of going to the farm for Thanksgiving and any other time that I could. His parents are wonderful grandparents and the kids have great aunts, uncles and cousins there too.
They have even welcomed Jon, my current husband, to the farm and he has gone with us for several Thanksgivings since we have been together. I’ve had to miss a year here and there due to working but my kids have never missed being on the farm for Thanksgiving.
This year is different though. My ex-father in law is not doing well. He has both Parkinson’s and Louie Body disease. The combination of these two things have taken a toll on him and the disease is moving fast. He was barely able to make it through farming his crops this fall and he could not do it without help.
While we wish things were different, we know my ex-father in law will soon be in a nursing home. My ex-mother in law can not keep up with his care alone. They are trying to put his going off until after the holidays.
My ex-in laws have been together since High School. She does not want to stay at the farm without him and I do not blame her. The farm will be rented out and she will move into town when the time comes.
I am also sad to lose my ex-father in law. He is one of the best people you could hope to know and it brings me to tears to see him drifting away. His mind is crippled with confusion and it worsens daily.
This years Thanksgiving/Christmas celebration will be bitter sweet. The farm has held a special place in my heart for over thirty years and I am sad to know that this may very well be the last time I set foot on its land.
As hard as it is though, I know things could be worse and that we in fact are lucky to have this one last year to be together on the farm.
I hope those of you who celebrate will have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Do not forget to take it all in because some day things will change and all you will have are the wonderful memories you made.
You Tube
Clickasnap
Please don't forget to Follow, Up Vote and Resteem if you enjoyed my post.
@originalworks
The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @debralee to be original material and upvoted(1.5%) it!
To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!
I really enjoy your writing Deb, so keep up the great work. You are very creative, inspirational and personable. I am sorry that this may be your last Thanksgiving on the farm. All the best to your family. Big Huggs
Thanks Deborah!
Prior to this morning, I had not intended to write about this but I suppose I needed to. :)
Glad you did! Writing can be very therapeutic.
It was all kinds of free therapy to me after we lost the kids dad. Sadly, I lost most of that when I accidentally deleted a folder from my portable hard drive. I've got an old computer that may have it, if the hard dive didn't crash. I need to dig it out of the closet & check it soon.
When a house is a home it really is the hub through which everyone is connected, no matter the physical distance. And change can certainly be painful, but we can and do adapt, eventually, don't we.
I think it's nice that your ex-in-laws aren't selling, merely renting the farm out.
A poignant story, thank you for sharing. :)
Yes, we do have to adapt, rather we want the change or not. Thanks ravenruis! :)
My heart goes out to you debralee! Love and Light to you and your family!!
Thank you so much deerjay
You're very welcome!!
Thank you for sharing this. It must be incredibly hard. There is so much sadness in the world. Best wishes, as always, from Michigan.
Thanks Paul. I got some encouraging news. My ex-mother in law is actually reconsidering moving into town so this may not be our last year after all. Of course, she may go back & forth before really deciding and we will stand behind what she wants in the end. :)
I feel for her having to make that decision. Such is life I suppose.
I so sorry to hear that this will be last Thanksgiving/Christmas on the farm. So many memories. I can see where it will be bitter sweet. Writing is a great way to get things worked through in our minds, to paint a clearer picture.
I actually learned yesterday that my ex-mother in law is reconsidering renting in town. I think she is finding the thought of leaving the farm to be hard. Naturally I think it would be. I expect she may go back & forth a bit before deciding for sure. We sill be supportive of her final decision though. :)